


Oh I Hate How Much I Love You

by smallstarfox



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst and Porn, Angst with a Happy Ending, Choking, Confessions, Crying, Cunnilingus, Denial of Feelings, Dirty Talk, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Sex, Episode: s12e05 Fugitive of the Judoon, Episode: s12e06 Praxeus, F/F, Fingerfucking, Fluff and Smut, Hand & Finger Kink, Hate Sex, Hugs, Light Dom/sub, Love Bites, Love/Hate, Master/Servant, Passive-aggression, Pining, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Police Uniforms, Possessive Behavior, Praise Kink, Roughness, Service Top, Sexual Roleplay, Sexual Tension, Shameless Smut, Smut, Spoilers, Spoilers for Episode: s12e01-02 Spyfall, Spoilers for Episode: s12e03 Orphan 55, Spoilers for Episode: s12e04 Nikola Tesla's Night Of Terror, Table Sex, The Author Regrets Nothing, Uniform Kink, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, rewriting that one scene because reasons, soft smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:29:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 30,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22137850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallstarfox/pseuds/smallstarfox
Summary: Struggling to deal with the events of their newest travels, the Doctor and Yaz find themselves needing some relief.
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan
Comments: 54
Kudos: 143





	1. On Your Knees When You Look At Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After dealing with the Kasavin, Barton and the return of the Master, the Doctor finds herself realising some new part of herself, and Yaz is there to help ease her through figuring it out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (song inspiration: King Princess - Holy)

"Kneel."

This was quite possibly the worst idea she had ever thought of. Except, she hadn't thought of it. No...this wasn't her idea at all. All she had done was told Yaz what had happened to her, told her everything that happened when she had been teleported away from them. Quite frankly, after spilling her heart out to Yaz, she hasn't quite expected to end up in her bedroom. She certainly hadn't expected to be without her tie, shirt hanging open across her shoulders, staring at smouldering brown eyes. 

"Kneel, Doctor."

Oh, she was good. She was very good. There was a slight waver in her tone, but the Doctor could hear it. Feel it. The sting. The bite. She could feel the anger and the rage and the upset. Of course. She had abandoned Yaz. Left her. Twice she had almost died because of her. But it was fair, she deserved to be yelled at. Scolded. Hated. It was all her fault after all. But oh, how she wanted to fight back. She wanted to tear into Yaz just as hard. But she held back.

"And what happens if I don't? Hmm?"

There was a falter in Yaz's hard stare, a waver in the sharp line of her mouth. The Doctor worried that she had overstepped an unspoken mark, but she worried for nothing. Yaz only stepped closer to her, got into her personal space so far that she could feel every single hair stand on end, a smile working across her face as both Yaz's hands came to rest against her shoulders. There was a slight amount of pressure being applied between her shoulder blades, testing her limits, trying to make her budge.

"Do you want to find out? I said. Kneel."

There was a harder pressure now, one that made her knees buckle. The Doctor smiled as she let herself drop like a crumpled pile of bricks, knees hitting the wooden floor with a considerable this. Vibrations wracked her body as she landed, and all she did was set her face back to neutral, looking up again into darkened brown eyes. She could feel fire coursing through her body, hearts hammering in her chest as she felt the hands finally leaving her body. But Yaz wasn't done with her. Oh no. She certainly wasn't done. There was a smile on her face now, a light in her eyes that started to scare the Doctor. How much had she taken from what she had-

The Doctor gasped, eyes widening as she felt the air escape her. It took all of her strength not to allow her respiratory bypass system to kick in. She wanted this to be as authentic as possible. She wanted Yaz to feel the flex of her throat as she tried to breathe, fingers wrapping around her neck and applying pressure to her airways in just the right way to make her head spin and grow fuzzy. The Doctor wondered how far Yaz would go, how hard she would attempt to break her, if she could at all. There was a moment where she felt the hold loosen against her, although it was short lived. Only enough for her to wheeze when even more pressure was applied and Yaz lowered herself down to breathe against her face.

"When I let go, I want you to say my name. Are you going to do that, Doctor? Blink if you are."

Still trying to take in air through a strained open mouth, the Doctor looked up at Yaz with desperate and watery eyes. It took no time for her to blink both eyes slowly, and soon she was free to breathe again. The Doctor took in as much air as she could, briefly holding her throat and feeling the warm marks left there. They would soon fade, although she was more impressed than concerned. Yaz was someone to keep an eye on. She watched as her companion took a step away from her and straightened herself out, resting her hands on her hips and tapping against the bones. In the dim light of her bedroom, the Doctor could still see the flush across her skin and the little beads of sweat starting to form on her shoulders. She could see the tension she was carrying in her posture, the weight of the day's events etched into her face, the latent fear still lingering behind her glazed and lust-filled eyes. 

"Call me by my name, Doctor."

Biting down on her tongue, the Doctor stayed silent. Steeled herself. Waited. Once again, all she wanted to do was to see how far she could get Yaz to go.

"Call. Me. By. My. Name."

"Yaz."

Yaz looked at her with frustration, rolling her eyes as she crossed her arms under her chest. The Doctor marvelled at the strength she held in her arms, the tone of her muscles, how her forearms pushed up under her breasts and accentuated the tight hold of her maroon lace bra. She wanted to reach out and tear into her, let out all of her own frustrations, take everything she could from Yaz and ground herself in the here and now. But she had to wait. They were both lost in an intricate dance, partly of her own design.

"No."

A spike of adrenaline ran through her body, a shiver running down her spine at the venomous tone suddenly spat in her direction. The Doctor looked to the ceiling, rolled her eyes, then looked back at Yaz with arched eyebrows, muttering under her breath.

"Master."

Teeth grazed the side of her cheek as she watched Yaz come back into her personal space and lean down ever so slightly. She was showing off now, pure and simple, running off her own high and the Doctor could feel it radiating off her. Smell it in the air. Yaz was enjoying this just as much as she was. 

"Beg pardon?"

Oh...she was really getting into it now. 

"Master."

The Doctor spoke louder this time, catching Yaz's eye and holding her stare as they sat at a stalemate with each other.

"Once more."

Rising ever so slightly from her knees, the Doctor leant forward until she was nose to nose with Yaz, gritting her teeth as she swallowed her pride and rose to the challenge. 

"Master."

"Good girl."

Finally, at long last, the Doctor was rewarded. She had been begging for this moment for the last two hours, praying and waiting and wanting. Yaz crashed their lips together with frenzied force, taking the Doctor's breath away again. She felt two arms loop around her neck and pull her in closer, hands knotting into her bedraggled hair and tugging as teeth met lips and her tongue slid into her mouth. Yaz was everything. But the Doctor was everywhere. Her hands wrapped around Yaz's waist, delighting in her pulling back to breath before returning to try and keep control of the situation. Pale hands snaked across dark skin and were far too quick and clever to be held back by a flimsy two hook bra. It was undone with a flick of her wrist, the Doctor moving to take her short nails slowly down Yaz's back and push back against her. A sharp nip to her tongue got her to stop, the two panting for breath as Yaz glared at her. 

"You'll get your chance. But not if you play dirty. Only good girls get their reward, right Doctor?"

Huffing a response, Yaz had to try not to laugh at the petulant Time Lord. Especially as it was mostly her idea. Despite what she would no doubt later try and deny. Hands moved away from her back, resting atop the wooden floor as the Doctor looked away and muttered an apology to her. In actual fact, Yaz had no real idea what she was doing, but apparently the Doctor was so far wound up that it didn't even matter. It was only fair, therefore, for her to even out the playing field a little bit. Yaz pushed the crisp white shirt from the Doctor's shoulders and watched it crumple before it was tossed to one side.

"Take your bra off."

The Doctor went to question her, why wasn't Yaz touching her again already, but held her tongue as she felt the sting of the glare put her back in her place. 

"Yes Master."

Sitting back on her thighs, Yaz watched as the Doctor took hold of the waistband of her light grey sports bra and dragged it up above her head. It was any wonder her lbs didn't get entangled in it as blonde hair flew in all directions, but that wasn't what Yaz was concerning herself with. As the Doctor stretched to take the bra over her head, dark eyes saw the hammering of her hearts against her ribs and the stretch of soft curves. It was mesmerising. Soon enough the Doctor was half bare before her, face flushed and still buzzing with desire. Far be it from her to deny the Time Lord any longer, Yaz uncurled her legs from underneath her and beckoned with one finger as she lay herself down onto the wooden floorboards. The Doctor followed, slotting in so perfectly between her legs, hands either side of her head as she looked down at her with half lidded eyes. 

"I'm all yours, Doctor."

She certainly didn't waste her time. Yaz barely caught the flash of teeth and raised lips before they were on her own and taking the air from her lungs. She didn't stay for long, as soon the Doctor was pressing kisses up her jaw and back down again. Yaz wrapped her arms around the Doctor's waist and pulled her down into her, hearing nails digging into wood as she kept herself stable while engaging in a ravenous onslaught. Lips and teeth marred the side of her neck, forcing Yaz to look away so that the Doctor could get the best access possible. She briefly dragged her teeth harder against her skin before she pressed down into Yaz’s neck and clenched hard. She delighted in the high pitched gasp that came from Yaz as she made sure to leave her mark on her. The tip of her tongue gently flicked over bruised skin as she sucked and held firm until she was sure that her work was done. There was only the lightest reprieve before Yaz was near screaming at the second bite, digging her nails hard into the Doctor’s back and making her groan deep in her own throat at the sensation. This was exactly what she needed. She needed to claim every part of Yaz for herself, mark her, keep her safe from the Master. She wanted him to know not to mess with the person she held so dear. Flashes came across her mind, little memories filtering into her head from Yaz as she momentarily lost control of her telepathy. 

_ He’d been flirting with her. _

The rumbling growl in her throat grew louder as she let go of Yaz’s neck and peppered kisses to the two dark bruises she had created. She needed to feel Yaz, all of her, everywhere. The Doctor didn’t care for their awkward circumstances, but would make do with the arrangement given to her. She shuffled lower down Yaz’s body, hands moving to rest near the tops of her arms as the Doctor kissed her way down her shoulders and across her clavicles. She kept travelling lower and lower, making a beeline towards Yaz’s right breast and wrapping her lips around a waiting nipple. Caught gasping for air and back arching off the floor, Yaz untangled one of her hands and threaded it back into the Doctor’s hair. She tugged and held her firmly in place, swearing to every higher power she knew of, as a skilled tongue drew circles over her skin.

“Oh god...Doctor...you’re so good. Don’t stop. Don’t stop.”

Yaz whined again as the Doctor moved to swap sides, sending the same electric shocks through her body again and again. She wondered what it would be like to have the Time Lord’s hands all over her, hips bucking at the mere thought alone. Then again, if that were the case, then Yaz was almost sure that she wouldn’t have been able to last more than a few seconds, pressure already mounting between her legs and the want to grind against the Doctor’s knees growing with each passing second. The Doctor seemed to almost sense her frustrations, unhooking one leg so that she could straddle one of Yaz’s thighs and apply the pressure she so desperately craved. Nails continued to dig into her skin as she worked, dragging up her spine and causing her to break away to moan into soft skin. It felt so good, the pain mixing into her pleasure only spurring her on further. She needed more of Yaz. So much more.

First of all, she had to take away her trousers. It almost pained her to completely disengage to the restrained rocking against her knee, but the Doctor was on a mission. She moved to kneel at yaz’s left side, finally able to make use of her hands as she felt Yaz let go of her. Fingertips ghosted down her stomach and across her hips, hazel-green eyes watching the way Yaz’s muscles tensed under her touch. It was beautiful. As deftly as she had dealt with the bra, the button and zipper were dealt with in a matter of seconds, and soon the Doctor had her fingers around the waistband of the fitted fabric and was sliding it down over Yaz’s hips and thighs. Yaz hated how slow she was moving, but it at least gave her a moment to catch her breath before she was encouraged to kick her trousers away. She felt far too warm, felt the sweat clinging to her skin and an uncomfortable tightness in the pit of her stomach. The Doctor was breaking her.

“D-Doctor…”

Hearing her name, the Doctor sat upright, resting a hand against Yaz’s thigh and watching as she shuddered at the contact.

“Yes, Master?”

She huffed a little as Yaz groaned in response, hips twisting around in frustration. The Doctor moved a little closer, slightly moving her hand higher, just so she could rest her fingers against the edge of cotton boy shorts.

“N-no more...no more...master stuff. Just...I just...need you to…”

That caught the Doctor’s attention even more. Yaz wanted to change tact? She was more than willing to work with that. After all, if she was happy, then the Doctor was happy. With her eyes trained on Yaz’s face and every expression she made through screwed-shut eyes, the Doctor began to move her hand again. She moved across the polka-dotted fabric with ease, gliding the heel of her palm across the front of Yaz’s underwear before making her way right down the front. No messing, no diversions. The Doctor smiled wide when she groaned and sighed and bucked her hips into her touch, pressing heat and damp into her hand. Yaz really had been enjoying herself, and it was nothing if not inflating her ego.

“What do you need, Yaz? Hmm? Do you need this?”

To emphasise her point, she rotated her hand so that the heel of her palm now connected with the most sensitive parts of her companion. Yaz gasped and keened into the contact, mouth dropping open and staying there as the Doctor smirked.

“I’m going to make you say my name, Yaz. Say it, repeat it, beg for me. Mark my words.”

Once again, the Doctor left Yaz whining as she moved away from her, but only for a moment. It was for a good cause. She needed to get the last thing out of her way first. Slender fingers carefully repeated the process of removing clothing, dragging Yaz’s underwear down her legs until they were tossed into the void of her bedroom. Now, there was nothing that stood in the way of her taking what she wanted. Hands moved to prise Yaz’s legs apart from the knees, just enough so that the Doctor could return to kneel between them. As she stroked her way up the inside of her companion’s thighs, she lay a trail of accompanying kisses from the left until she reached Yaz’s hipbone. Each movement she made was greeted with a breathy sight of anticipation, turning to a gasp as she lay kisses across and down to stop at her pubic bone. She could feel her own breaths coming out shallow and stuttered, unable to think properly as the scent of sweat and arousal ravaged her senses and sent her into overdrive. It was no longer possible to hold herself back.

The Doctor dropped her head and ran her tongue upwards through slick folds, taking up every speck of arousal she could and savouring the taste. She could feel Yaz bucking against her mouth almost instantly, heard her desperately try to restrain the moan coming from her mouth. It was everything she could have wanted. The Doctor hummed as she gave another languid lick, pressing the tip of her tongue to the small bump of nerves and flicking against it. That was all the encouragement Yaz needed before she moaned freely again, gasping as the Doctor repeated the process twice more. She might not have known anything about the Time Lord, nothing about who she was or where she had come from, but right then Yaz knew that she had never felt so wanted. Least of all when the Doctor was no longer lapping away at her, but instead sliding her index finger ever so slowly inside of her. There was a slight burn and a stretch, despite how much she was worked up, but gods if it didn’t make Yaz feel alive.

“Ah! Doctor.”

With her arm firmly rooted in place, allowing Yaz a moment to get accustomed to the intrusion, the Doctor set about repositioning herself. She wanted to see everything, to hear Yaz, to take everything in. She vacated the spot between her legs to kneel back against one hip, leering over her and urging Yaz to open her eyes by nudging at her cheek with her nose. When hazel-green eyes finally met brown again, pupils blown exponentially, she smiled. Feeling hips twitching and trying to get things started without her, the Doctor withdrew her finger part way and paused.

“Now then. Say my name, Yaz.”

The Doctor thrust herself back into Yaz’s slick heat, curling her finger just so until she watched Yaz squeeze her eyes tightly and arch up off the floor with a loud groan. Sadly, it didn’t have the desired effect, so the Doctor tried again. And again. She was working in and out at a strong pace, tilting her hand just enough so that she wasn’t making any additional contact. Not yet. She had plans first. All Yaz could do was whine and groan in time to the thrusts, keening her hips to match the rhythm. She could feel the Doctor’s hot breath across her face, felt her staring at her, but she was far too gone to even remember the promise that had been made to her. It wasn’t until she felt a second finger soon joining in with the first, that she paid attention.

“Say it.”

“D-Doctor!”

Letting her head drop down, the Doctor’s lips twitched as she felt herself growl again, teeth clenching as she finally brought the heel of her palm to grind against Yaz’s clit as she thrust with increased vigor. At this point, the Doctor had lost her sense of self to the euphoric melody that Yaz was providing beside her ear. As her arm started to tingle, she began to pant in time with each thrust, adding to the mix along with the sound of her wet fingers hammering home with staggering precision. Fire was boiling her blood and burning between her legs, but she ignored it all for the sake of what she had been dying to hear.

“Doctor. Doctor. Doctor.”

In between gasps of air, Yaz was repeating her name like a mantra, voice climbing higher and higher as she brought her hands back around the Doctor’s body. She clung to her like a lifeline, pressing her fingers against her spine as her words fell away to nothing more than pants before ripping out as an almost silent scream. Back arched and hips stilled as the Doctor felt Yaz tumble over her peak. Her movements slowed as she drew out as much of the orgasm as she could, her own pants turning to the faintest of coos as she soon stilled and let Yaz catch her breath. Small spasms still twitched around her fingers as she finally withdrew herself, holding position until she heard the final weary sigh from Yaz as her body returned to lie flat against the floor. The Doctor pressed a gentle kiss to her cheek before moving to sit upright, if only to quickly lick her fingers clean before Yaz opened her eyes again and tried to sit herself up.

“Hey, easy now. Lemme help.”

With a quick wipe of fingers against her trousers, the Doctor slung an arm around Yaz’s waist and helped maneuver her upright.

“You okay?”

“Y-yeah...just. Give me a moment. Actually, do me a favour; go sit on the bed. Take those trousers off too while you’re at it.”

Quirking an eyebrow, the Doctor looked at Yaz with a perplexed look on her face. She just stared for a moment, before apparently realisation seemed to hit her, her mouth dropping into an o shape. Glad of the space to breathe, Yaz turned her head to the side as she felt the Doctor move away from her, the gentle pad of bare feet the only way she knew she had done as asked. Besides the slight grumble and obvious almost-falling-over stumble. When Yaz turned back, the Doctor was indeed sitting on the edge of the bed, hands resting in her lap in an almost demure fashion. If she hadn’t just been fucked within an inch of her life and wanted payback, she would have thought it adorable. Getting up on her feet, Yaz made her way over to the Doctor and stood in front of her. It almost mirrored their first position, if not for the fact that it was Yaz who was getting down on her knees in front of the Time Lord. With her hands on the Doctor’s hips and a wry smile, Yaz looked up with intent.

“What do you say I show you just how much of a good girl you are?”

“Yaz...you don’t have t-”

“No. I know. But I want to. Let me take care of you.”

At a sudden loss for words, the Doctor simply nodded as she swallowed the lump in her throat. Breath caught in her throat as she felt Yaz tug down the boxers from her hips, watching them slide down past her knees, before she untangled them from her ankles and nudged them to one side. Despite the fact she had pretty much lost her cool and them some when it came to Yaz, she suddenly found herself feeling rather self conscious at being completely exposed. It wasn’t for Yaz to know, it was entirely her fault for hiding everything for so long. She felt...afraid almost. Weak. Small. Although looking at the hunger appearing in Yaz’s eyes as she stared at her, it helped, somewhat. The Doctor let out a shaky sigh as she felt her knees being pushed apart, teeth taking hold of her lower lip as she struggled to keep a fixed stare.

Yaz lay delicate kissed up the side of her left calf, hands sliding up the outside of both legs as she moved, leaving the Doctor to tip her head back slightly and close her eyes. She hadn’t counted on being so sensitive, and keeping her eyes open was adding far too much fuel to the fire for her liking. Not that she wasn’t already aware of her own state of need. When Yaz moved to repeat the process to her other calf, she let out a quiet sigh, counting the beats of her hearts in her head to keep her focus on something other than what was going on. Or, she tried to, until she heard Yaz.

“I want you to keep your hands busy, Doctor. But, only above the waist. Understand?”

As much as she wanted to have Yaz touch her, really, the Doctor was sure she would combust if such a thing were to happen. Whining, she tried her best to nod, mind racing at the thought of Yaz watching her as she slid her hands up her stomach and cupped her breasts. As her thumbs ran over her nipples, causing her to jump at the touch, Yaz hummed and rose up just enough to start kissing the inside of the Doctor’s thigh. She was amazed at how soft her skin was against her lips, how she could make out her freckles and moles and paid attention to all of them as she moved.

She tested a gentle nip of her teeth, smiling as she heard a restrained mewl and felt the barest hint of a shudder. Yaz wondered how much she had managed to work the Doctor up, if at all, considering how she had more than happily turned the tables after her little show. Her kisses crossed over to the Time Lord’s other thigh, with a few more playful nips at her skin as she paused at the juncture of her thigh. She could feel tiny bristles of hair against her cheek, which broke through her lust to register as truly cute. The Doctor had shuffled slightly closer to the edge of the bed as she worked herself over with her fingers, body stretched taut and lean as she sent shockwaves through her body. It wasn’t a new experience by any means, but it felt so much more intense while she knew Yaz was knelt in front of her. She could feel her hot breath ghosting over her skin as she mimicked the kisses she had crossed over her previously.

Taking in a slow breath, Yaz moved to lay a trail of kisses downwards, just ghosting her way across the Doctor’s centre and feeling a rush of pride as she heard her whine again. It was needy, full of longing, and it was any wonder that she wasn’t having her head pressed down and made to carry on. Although, as Yaz let her tongue push through apparently very wet folds, the Doctor was clearly unable to keep her hands to herself. Both of them came to rest on top of her head, tentatively curling into her loose hair and twitching as Yaz moved again. She had never quite expected their adventure to turn out this way, although that wasn’t exactly a complaint. The Doctor was so riled up, shivering each time she moved her tongue, it was beautiful in a way.

Especially when she sighed her name.

“Oh...Yaz…”

Dragging her tongue upwards, she began to circle around the Doctor’s clit slowly, drawing out each gentle sound. It was a stark contrast from where they had once been, but Yaz had different ways of getting the Doctor to get everything out of her system. She wanted to show her how much she cared, how highly she thought of her, how much she had been scared of losing her. She poured out all of her emotions as she lavished endless attention on the Time Lord, sighing herself when hands encouraged her to work a little quicker. Yaz happily complied, switching up between long and short strokes at a faster pace. There was a long drawn sigh of approval in response, and the Doctor began to slowly move her hips in time with Yaz’s tongue. Keeping her hands firmly planted around the Doctor’s thighs, fingers brushing just curling into the softest part of her backside, Yaz soon found a very specific set of motions that had the Doctor babbling in the most musical way she had ever heard. It was more than foreign, it was completely alien to her.

Occasionally, her name would break through the high toned nonsense - Yaz - and by the frequency of its appearances she was sure that the Doctor was getting close. Which was all well and good because Yaz was slowly losing the ability to breathe through her nose as the Doctor moved harder and faster against her tongue. At least it meant she could focus herself on flicking her tongue and devouring the Doctor exactly how she wanted her to. Yaz could feel slick arousal coating the underside of her lips and working down her chin, although the sensation was soon blocked out by a hard jolt and sounds she could finally understand.

“Oh s-staaars!”

If it wasn’t for her hands protecting her, Yaz was sure that the Doctor would have locked her head in a vice grip, if the pressure against her scalp was anything to go by. All she could do was remain completely still, until she felt the wild spasms slowly subside and the Doctor grow limp. Ducking her head out from the hands holding her in place, although not before laying a kiss to the Doctor’s core again, Yaz shuffled away and came to take her place beside the barely breathing Time Lord on the bed. She rubbed circles against her hip with one hand, using the other to take strands of blonde away from the Doctor’s eyes. There was already a smile on her face, one that soon became quiet laughter.

“That was...wow...more than wow. Super wow. Is that a thing? If not, then it is now. All the stars to Yasmin Khan. Bravo.”

“Doctor...you’re delirious. Honestly.”

Yaz couldn’t help but laugh in kind, and soon enough the Doctor was looking at her again with the same doe-eyed wonder she had come to know and love.

“Might be. Possibly. I mean...it’s been a hell of a few days. Could probably do with a kip to be honest with you. Sounds like a plan, that. Will you...will you stay? Here? Tonight? W-with...with me?”

With a long drawn kiss to the Doctor’s cheek, Yaz took hold of her hand and pulled the both of them up to standing. She couldn’t turn down such a question, and she would be lying to herself if she said she wasn’t tired as well. Plus, she could do with the rest before trying to talk to her family about what had happened.

“Come on. Let’s get settled. The world can last the night without us.”

As the Doctor peeled back the duvet, Yaz clambered across to the other side of the bed and settled in against the soft pillows. She opened her arms for the Doctor to settle in against, back against her chest, breathing a contented sigh as she nestled her nose into her hair.


	2. I Can't Control This Awful Energy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tensions come to a boiling point when Yaz is ready to give the Doctor a piece of her mind, but butting heads is the least of her worries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't planning on writing more s12 work!!  
> Except...someone came up with a really good idea for this and I couldn't not write it.  
> If I end up writing smut for every episode then I'm either sorry or I'm not. Haven't decided yet.  
> Either way, if there's anything that seems appropriate right now, it's hate sex.
> 
> Enjoy?
> 
> (Song Inspiration - Halsey - Control)

She needed answers. Anything more than what she currently had at her disposal. How did the Doctor think it was fair to give them the bare minimum? She knew almost everything about them; their family, jobs, their friends and what they were like as people. All they had to go on was a fat lot of nothing, palmed off with just her home and something about the absolute maniac calling himself Master. That was doing nothing for them, and considering how their supposed holiday had ended, Yaz was more than on edge. She was scared, angry, and on a mission to get exactly what she wanted. Fighting with the Doctor wasn't something she had ever seen her wanting, but right now she was far beyond reasoning. She had almost died several times now. The Doctor was going to answer her. 

With Ryan and Graham already tucked away for the night, obviously trying to heal their own wounds from the day, Yaz marched down the hallway towards where she assumed the Doctor was hiding. The TARDIS always took her to where she needed to go, and tonight was no exception. Although, she could feel trepidation in the air. Was she being asked to stop? It didn't matter. Only the Doctor could tell her to stop, if she even dared try and brush her off again. She found herself stopped at an ordinary wooden door, which threw her off slight. If she ever tried to find the Doctor, it was behind some extravagant looking door that help some remarkable room inside. With a harsh rap of her knuckles, she waited for the inevitable shuffling. But nothing happened. She knocked again, and continued to be greeted with silence. Perhaps she had the wrong room after all. Yaz went to turn away, but heard a noise from inside. It was...a grunt? Followed by the sound of several papers making a large flapping noise. Curiosity piqued, Yaz pushed the door open slowly, peering her head through the gap. 

The Doctor was sat at a desk, mountains of papers now scattered around the table and chair legs. She was hunched over with her head pressed against the wood, fists balled and arms straining at the latent tension being held in her body. It was enough to briefly startle Yaz and make her reconsider her tactics. It didn't seem like going in all guns blazing was going to be the answer, but it didn't settle the unease and upset in her mind. Still, she approached slowly, making her way to the side of the Doctor and pausing for a moment. She couldn't hear her breathing, but saw her shoulders moving which was at least a good sign. Considering she had been almost completely devoid of oxygen at one point, it was any wonder she had been able to do anything at all. With an outstretched hand, Yaz gently placed it against the Doctor's shoulder.

"Doc-"

A sharp jolt of the Doctor's shoulder threw her completely, hand recoiling sharply to her chest, mouth still open as she heard a very bitter tone.

"Don't touch me."

That was...a new reaction. Yaz had never heard the Doctor snap so hard, least of all at her, especially when she was trying to help her out. However, still wrapped up in her own world of problems, Yaz failed to heed the warning and tried again. She scrambled back to the wall when the Doctor swiftly turned in the chair and shot her such a powerful stare, Yaz forgot all of her previous fears. They were nothing compared to the steely look in her eyes.

"I said, don't touch me. How hard is that a statement for you to understand?!"

The bite and flash of teeth at her words left Yaz speechless. Shaken. Unnerved. The woman...alien, sitting in front of her was not someone she knew. She was someone different, and Yaz didn't like it. However, not even that could stop her from giving the Doctor a piece of her own mind in response.

"Well excuse me for trying to see if you're alright."

The Doctor stared for a moment, before rolling her eyes and scoffing. The sound cut through Yaz like a knife, setting her completely on edge. She was flat out being mocked. 

"Seeing if I'm alright? Really? Well, I should be so lucky. You're only about seventy odd hours too late there. Good job! Bravo! Knew I could count on you, Yaz. Knew you'd be there when I needed you. Thanks. I appreciate the concern, finally."

Had she heard that right? Was the Doctor accusing her of not caring? It would have taken barely anything to tip her over the edge, but that was a low blow. Even for the Doctor. Face set into a snarl of her own, Yaz stepped forward and rooted herself as close to the Time Lord as possible, pressing a finger hard into the centre of her chest.

"There when YOU needed me? What about when I needed YOU? Where were you then, Doctor? Where were you when I thought I had died? Where have you been the last few nights when I've woken up screaming in terror? I'll tell you where you've been: you've been hiding. From all of us. How the hell is that supposed to help anyone, and how the hell am I supposed to help you if you won't tell me what's fucking wrong?!"

She didn't care that she was shouting, accusing the Doctor, getting as physically close as possible to her. She didn't care that tears were burning in eyes or that her voice was cracking or that it physically hurt her to stab the Doctor's sternum. Yaz needed her to know exactly how she felt, no matter the cost. She needed her to know how scared and alone she felt, but also how frustrated and angry she was at being denied even the opportunity to help. Especially when she was being blatantly accused of not trying or caring. The exact opposite was true - Yaz cared far too much.

The Doctor's eyes travelled down to the finger repeatedly jamming itself against her chest, and back up to Yaz. She didn't flinch or make any kind of acknowledgement for a few moments, simply set her stare right into Yaz's eyes again. It was unnerving to say the least, but there was no way that Yaz was going to crack under the pressure. However, she didn't expect the Doctor to stand. She certainly didn't expect her to walk closer, almost crushing her hand between them as she ever so slowly backed Yaz back against the same wall she had been cowering against moments ago. Their faces were barely a few hairs apart, the Doctor's hands coming to rest inside her coat pockets as her top lip twitched with intent. Hazel-green eyes looked darker in the low light of the room, nearing a more pitch shade of brown, burning like still-hot coals.

In between the cycling feelings of panic and rage, Yaz could feel something else. Adrenaline. Enjoyment. Her heart was racing to a brand-new beat, faster than when she had been around the Dreg, and it hurt her chest. She didn't want to run through, it wasn't flight taking her. It was fight. She wanted to stand her ground to the Doctor and prove she wasn't about to be stand by and be disregarded as just some mere weak human by comparison. Time Lord or not, she could take her on. She had years’ worth of sibling rivalry and professional training on her side. The Doctor smiled slowly, giving another huff of disapproval before she came so close to Yaz that their noses were brushing and she could feel her words searing into her skin.

"You really think I've just been hiding? Playing games with you? Keeping secrets and playing the martyr? You honestly think you can help me, Yaz? Oh, I'd like to see you try and take me on. I really, really would. So how about it? Do you feel like breaking some thousands of years’ worth of carefully crafted walls down? Well, I'm all yours."

Her hearts were beating quick time in her chest, sending wave after wave of endorphins through her system. Every synapses of her brain was sparking wildly, tingles travelling down her spine as fingers clenched and unclenched in her coat pockets. If Yaz so desperately wanted to help her, wanted to keep shouting and kicking up a storm, then the Doctor was going to be right there with her. Having the touch to her shoulder unwarranted had sent her spiralling madly down the rabbit hole of her own self-deprecation and self-hatred. It had sparked off the anger and resentment inside her, targeted it to the closest person within range, and set it off without any warning. The Doctor bade for blood, a challenge, anything to distract her from the little voice in her head that was screaming she was screwing up. She was pushing Yaz away again, forcing her to play her stupid self-absorbed game of Russian roulette. When she didn't respond or move, however, the Doctor did. 

Hands made their way from out of her pockets and came to rest either side of Yaz's ears. The Doctor bore all of her body weight on her arms, relished the burn in her muscles, lips still twitching a sarcastic smile as she unconsciously continued to twist the knife deeper into Yaz's heart. She tried to search her companion's eyes to gauge what was going on inside her head, because judging by her silence, something clearly was. Although in between her own pondering, the Doctor could feel something else creeping into the back of her mind. Something foreign and uncharted, just a whisper, but growing louder with the sound of her pulse thundering in her ears. She could feel wisps of Yaz's hair tickling her fingertips, was suddenly very aware of the faint scent of patchouli and coconut, and the subtle way Yaz tried to hide how she licked her lips ever so slightly. There was something in the way that her eyes had widened, pupils dilated not just from the low light, but from something more. Something hidden. A puzzle for the Doctor to unravel and make sense of.

The whisper was turning into a scream now, breaking through every part of her psyche until she couldn't ignore it any longer. It possessed her, took hold of her in the most emboldened way, turned every thought towards her tilting her head ever so slightly and pressing both lips and body against Yaz. It was rough and messy and careless, but she didn't care. The touch broke her down and set her whole body on fire. Yaz made a surprised squeak, and the Doctor pulled back as instantly as she had claimed her, face contorted into shock and horror at what she had just done.

"Yaz. Oh, stars, I am so, so sorry. I didn't mean to...I ju-"

She had no idea what happened first - the hands tugging down on the lapels of her coat, or the lips forcing their way back onto her own - but the Doctor found herself staggering backwards until her lower back hit the side of the desk she had previously been moping against. Rightly, she didn't care what was happening, all she cared about was looping one arm around Yaz's waist as her free hand tangled itself into her hair as she groaned in relief and ecstasy. This was the touch that she needed, something raw and primal, something to distract her. She needed to feel Yaz against her, pressing into her so beautifully that it made her head spin. It didn't matter that they were completely uncoordinated as they moved, each taking something different from the moment, but the Doctor still had the advantage when it came to total control. Countless ages of experience and strength and understanding, it was no wonder she somehow managed to flip the scene around and have Yaz gasping for breath underneath her. Her face had flushed, no doubt the Doctor's had done the same, and she could see her own desperation mirrored in Yaz's eyes.

"This is your chance to back out, Yaz. Say the word and I'll go back to-"

"I want to help. I need you just as much as you need me right now. Please."

Truth be told, the Doctor didn’t need any more encouragement other than that. Wriggling herself free from Yaz’s grasp, she bent down to slide her hands around her companion’s thighs and hoisted her up onto the desk itself. At least that way they were at a more even height. She shuffled her way out of her coat, letting it drop to the ground before she tackled the thick leather jacket Yaz wore. Kisses were peppered to her lips until the obstructive garment made a soft thud against the dark oak table. It was much easier for her to move without her beloved sleeves getting in the way, doubly so as her jumper clung tight and gave her free movement. She moved herself into the space between Yaz’s legs before pulling her in for another kiss. The need and the anger-filled lust was still there as the Doctor worked her tongue into Yaz’s mouth, but the were slowly coming onto the same page. Yaz was falling back slightly into her arm as she kept both of them stable, free hand keeping a firm grip on the edge of the desk. Each time they broke for air, Yaz more so, there would be a moan or a sigh to break through the silence. The Doctor swore blind that there was some addictive quality to kissing Yaz, how soft her lips felt against her own and how she tasted faintly of strawberry lip balm. A teasing tug of teeth against her lower grip caused sinful sounds to rattle around her ears and send a spike of burning heat to shoot through her body.

She could feel Yaz’s hands working their way in between them, sliding up the front of her stomach and across her chest as she clung to her suspenders. Her knuckles were applying just the faintest amount of pressure, moving gently up and down across her, leaving her with tingles. For the briefest moment she dared think about what it would be like to have Yaz touch her – skin on skin – the Doctor groaned and pulled away to lay searing kisses across her companion’s jaw. As she craned herself to draw a line up towards Yaz’s ear, not even attempting to hide her shortness of breath, the Doctor whispered against the shell of her ear.

“Hands. Table. Hold on.”

Despite bemoaning the contact leaving her body, the Doctor was more than happy that Yaz complied with her request. It was easier to work without distractions, and it meant her own hands could now be free to explore. With Yaz now holding herself up on the table, the Doctor could feel how strong she was as her fingers drew lines up toned muscles. She continued to kiss her way back across the sweeping line of her jaw, delighting in the high-pitched sigh as she twisted down to the slope of her neck. Hands continued to travel up her arms to rest atop her shoulders, and the Doctor let out a low throaty rumble as she made her way further down to the deep-drawn V-neck of the jumpsuit. While she had previously marvelled at the design, right now it was in her way, and part of her brain was telling her just to tear through it and be done. Except she was more tactful than that beastly part of her brain, she had to be, so she disengaged once more and set her sights on the tie against Yaz’s hip. Nimble and slender fingers made light work of the double knot, long sashes dropping down and allowing the wide waist of the jumpsuit to open up for her. She soon returned to her most favourite spot in the world – kissing Yasmin Khan – while her hands idly fumbled with tugging at the top half of the jumpsuit, until Yaz was free to pull her arms out of the top-half and wind them around her neck. The Doctor delighted at the feeling of fingers twisting in her hair and tugging her ever closer, threatening to tip the scales of power away from her. She was dancing on a knifes edge of wanting total control, and wanting to give everything over.

The feeling of Yaz’s smooth skin under her fingertips was unlike anything she had experienced in her current regeneration. Of course, she knew that women were soft, but there was something new and exciting and heightened about what she felt. Hands moved up and over Yaz’s spine, fingers making equally light work of the clasp of her bra, travelling further still until she was knotted into dark curled locks and pulled down. She captured the coming gasp in her waiting lips, humming in delight as the new angle gave her a lot more to work with when it came to staking her claim. Yaz wasn’t about to let her off easy though, not as she lurched out of her hold and threw the Doctor off kilter.

Yaz needed more, just as much as the Doctor did. It wasn’t enough for her to just be sitting there in her plum lace bra, which she quickly discarded from her arms. If the Doctor was allowed to feel her, then she was due the exact same in kind, and she was going to get just that. Wide startled eyes stared at her briefly, before they screwed shut as the Doctor tried her best to hold back the moan that came when Yaz made a beeline for her throat. Her skin was sensitive, more so than anywhere else she assumed. Every time she had been touched there in her current regeneration, it had sent a dull and needy ache straight between her legs as adrenaline coursed through her veins. The same was happening now, especially when the Doctor felt teeth grazing over the fragile skin of her fluttering pulse. Yaz’s hands were just as active as her mouth was, making short work of pushing the Doctor’s suspenders down her arms. She travelled down and tugged the fitted jumper out from blue culottes, hands sliding under the tight knit and gliding over the Doctor’s stomach. Her skin was still cool to the touch, a contrast to her burning hands, but she still felt every bit as amazing as Yaz had pictured. She was responsive too, very much so, head lolling back ever so slightly as she stuttered a sigh.

Part of her began to wonder if she could turn everything around, make the Doctor crack first in their impassioned dance around certain death, but restless pale hands soon found the hem of her jumper and pulled it up and away in one swift motion. Yaz was impressed to a degree, although somewhat disheartened the Doctor had beaten her to the punch. Still, she at least left her sports bra to struggle over her head. Under other circumstances, Yaz would have admired the multicoloured piece of clothing, but she still needed to feel something that wasn’t upset or hurt. The Doctor complied with the removal, holding her arms above her head and watching with intent as Yaz stretched herself out enough before throwing it down to the ground. When they came together again, cool and hot meld together in perfect harmony, Yaz had to hold onto the table again just to keep herself from falling from the force the Doctor came at her with. Her hands were all over her again, raking down her back and leaving her breathless as she went back to kissing and nipping at her neck. Yaz didn’t think she was one for pain, but there was something undeniably arousing about feeling the Doctor tear into her. It was the physical embodiment of her earlier words, sharp and swift, and god did she love every second of it. When teeth dug deep into her skin, Yaz felt her hips rock into the Doctor, head rolling back and neck craning so more of her was on offer. The Doctor ran her tongue over the mark she had left, up until it connected with Yaz’s jaw and she growled low in her ear.

“You want to know how I feel? Want to know what’s got me so hot under the collar? You’re going to burn up from what I’m about to do to you. Burn like my home did. And it’s going to be so consuming, that you’re not even going to remember what’s happened. I’m going to drive you into madness and you’ll be begging me to stop.”

Before Yaz could respond to the words thrown at her - her home was burnt? - her open mouth was claimed once again by the Doctor as her hands moved up her sides and around to cup at her breasts. When her thumbs rolled over her nipples, Yaz felt her back arch and her body shudder. The Doctor was keen with hands, fingers squeezing and pressing and moulding every single sound that came between breathless kisses. She knew exactly what to do to silence her brain, make her nothing more than malleable clay under her fingers as she pinched both nipples between her thumb and finger. Annoyingly, Yaz needed air more than the Doctor did, and she had to not-so-subtly get her lips and tongue to move away from her. That had the added bonus of the Doctor replacing one of her hands with her mouth, and Yaz had no idea what noise she made in response. Something rose up from deep within her throat, and she felt the Doctor humming in approval as her tongue swirled around her nipple. She was burning up, just like had been promised, and the fact she was still restricted by the remainder of her jumpsuit was driving her insane. Things needed to move faster, and something quickly clicked inside her head. In between trying to keep control of the sounds she made, Yaz’s spat out in as rough a tone her hoarse throat could manage.

“Driving...me...mad? You’re just...a tame...little kitten. There’s no…fight in you. Try and break me...Doctor…I dare you.”

Yaz didn’t need to hear anything to know her words had an effect, all she needed to feel was a sharp pain spreading across her chest and all the air leaving her lungs as the Doctor pinched and toyed with both nipples with teeth and nails.

She arched out again, pain echoing in her knuckles as she held onto the table with a death-grip. She could feel it; feel the anger and sadness and unbridled rage that burnt throughout the Doctor’s body. Everything was being channelled into her through her actions. When pain was washed away with soothing strokes and gentle touches to calm her, Yaz melted again as the Doctor travelled further down her body. Her hands were resting against her thighs as she kissed across her abdomen and down to where the middle of her jumpsuit still sat atop her hips. She ached for more, something to settle the building pressure between her legs. Twisting and turning her hips did nothing, as she only ever caught empty air with each movement. When had she become so needy? Either the Doctor had picked up on her frustrations, or she was equally enthused to get on with things, as she moved back enough to take hold of bird-patterned material and tugged. Yaz pushed herself up on her hands just enough so that the jumpsuit could be moved out from under her backside, sighing in relief as it dropped to the floor and finally left her free. More or less. Letting her head drop forward slightly, Yaz watched as the Doctor dropped down to her knees and set about removing her boots and socks. It was such a contrast to where they had just been - her hands were slow, her eyes soft and gentle - but Yaz knew it was just a ruse. Something to lull her into a false sense of security.

The Doctor wasn’t about to let her off easily, not in the slightest. The moment she had done bearing Yaz to the world, a dark smile passed across her face for the briefest of moments, so fast that Yaz had to replay the moment in her head to be sure she hadn’t just imagined the smirk. There was a moment where she wondered whether or not the Doctor was going to taunt her even more, tease her, drive her over the edge with anticipation. However, she was nothing if not a little surprised to see her stand up and leer over her again.

“Careful what you say, Yaz. Words have consequences. And even kittens have claws.”

There it was again, the twitch of a smile, the thing that Yaz had seen so many times but never found out how to describe. Now she would forever see it as a challenge. The Doctor was between her legs again, using her hands against her knees to push them further apart. Despite the fact that she was still sat there in her underwear, a matching lacy set of briefs, Yaz felt beyond exposed and open. With one hand now pressed against her thigh for leverage, the Doctor moved her free hand slowly up and down the inside of her other thigh. Yaz tried to keep her eyes open and hold the stare, but when nails dug in and pulled down, it was impossible to keep her composure any longer. She groaned and let her head roll back against her shoulder, muscles trembling in response to the pain coming back to be beautifully inflicted on her. It was terribly short lived, as the Doctor hummed happily to herself before moving to directly cup her palm around her centre. When Yaz gasped, she simply chuckled quietly to herself as she applied the most infuriatingly gentle pressure in the known universe.

“I thought I dared you to- ah!”

Yaz tried goading her again, but it backfired, the Doctor grinding the heel of her palm against her already swollen clit as her fingers pressed deeper into the sodden fabric of her underwear.

“Dared me to what? Break you? You think I can’t do that?”

There was another push, one that left Yaz bordering on cursing loudly into the dark room, hips cantering to chase the contact and try to garner some relief. There was something low and dangerous in the Doctor’s tone, something different to anything else she had said or done. Her words were followed up by her hand moving away from her again, but only enough so that she could slide her finger underneath the top of her underwear and ghost across her left hipbone. Yaz complied with the agonisingly slow removal of her underwear, shuddered as she felt gravity take them down her calves and over her ankles. She wanted to open her eyes, to try and work out what the Doctor was thinking, but a small part of her was scared about what she might see. For all she knew, this was who the Doctor really was, and everything she knew was a lie. She didn’t want to risk that chance. Except…the Doctor wasn’t letting her off lightly. Yaz bit down on her lower lip and tried to quieten the long moan that came as she felt two fingers glide straight through her and roll over her clit.

“Open your eyes. I want to see your face as you come undone.”

Underneath the harsh bite of the command, was almost the faintest hint of pleading and concern. Yaz tried to get the Doctor to move her fingers again, to do as she promised, but she remained resolute and static while she kept her eyes closed. With a shuddering sigh, Yaz slowly opened her eyes one at a time, almost taken aback by how dark the Time Lord’s eyes now were. A deep flush covered her cheeks and spread down her neck, a sheen of sweat across her brow complimenting her wild and twisting hair. Now she was looking, she could see the smirk coming back, and it took all of Yaz’s strength not to sharply close her eyes as the same two fingers shifted to curl up inside her.

“F-f-f-fuck.”

There was a burn and a jolt of pain – Yaz had no idea she had been so aroused enough for it to work – but the feeling of the Doctor knuckle deep was indescribable.

“With pleasure.”

Yaz could do nothing but let her mouth drop open and whine repeatedly as the Doctor withdrew her fingers and thrust them back as deep as she could manage. Her hips jolted every time, spikes of pleasure flooding her body every time the Doctor curled the tips of her fingers just right. It wasn’t enough though, there was only so much she could get off to being drilled into, no matter how hot it made her. Even staring at the Doctor, opening herself up to seeing every expression that filtered across her face and the moans of approval, was doing little to truly push her over the edge. Then again, maybe that was the plan. Maybe the Doctor was just proving herself, her dominance, truly toying with her until she was good and ready to do more. Whatever the reason, it was driving Yaz to insanity – which was what had been promised. The Doctor’s presence was surrounding her, enveloping her, claiming every part of her from the inside out. She was the only thing she could focus on. No more thoughts about feeling alone and abandoned. No more thoughts about feeling unwanted. Everything was just the Doctor. When Yaz felt the quickest moment of a thumb making its way across her clit, all rational was lost.

“Please…Doctor…”

“Please what, hmm?”

She could feel the Doctor slowing down again, working with shorter thrusts and less of a flourish in her wrist. Yaz wanted to respond, but her words came out as a moan as the Doctor brushed over her with her thumb again.

“I need that. Please. Please, don’t stop.”

Appealing to the Time Lord’s sense of moral duty seemed to prove fruitful for once in their explosive encounter, as she complied without another word. With circles being drawn as she returned to precise thrusts, Yaz couldn’t help closing her eyes and letting the pleasure take control of her. The tense burning in the lowest part of her stomach was finally building up again, a wave of heat rushing up from her chest and across her cheeks. As much as she hated how she had found herself in such a predicament, Yaz had to admit that it was the most intense and satisfying experience of her life. In the process, she had come to realise that the Doctor heavily responded to verbal stimulus, so much so that she found herself spurring her on and disregarding how awkward such a thing would be if she wasn’t so close to the edge.

“F-faster. Ah! Yes! Just l-like that. God, you feel so good. I’m so close.”

None of what she said was a lie, Yaz really was just a few moments away from losing all control and holding on to last out was tearing her apart inside. But the Doctor had been listening and watching, studying her, following her staggered breaths and how her voice was trailing higher and higher. She could feel the tension building between them and the burn in her arm as she continued to thrust and draw tight back-and-forth strokes across Yaz’s clit. She could feel how wet she was, delighted in the sounds her fingers made. It was music to her ears. The Doctor held herself firm on the ground and moved her otherwise immobile hand back into Yaz’s hair. She threaded herself in tightly, pulled down and sank her teeth into the other side of her neck. There was a sharp jolt of hips, a strained moan, and Yaz saw white spots forming on the inside of her eyelids as she drew taut from the climax. She could feel the Doctor’s pace slowing, fingers drawing every last second of pleasure out of her. When the spasms ended and Yaz let out a low sigh of relief, the Doctor withdrew her fingers and released the hold of her neck. The hand that held her hair tight let go as her arm wrapped around Yaz’s waist and allowed her to relax.

Head still swimming and body tingling, Yaz barely registered that the Doctor was pressing gentle kisses to where she had bitten her. Finally relinquishing her hold of the table, shaking arms made their way around the Time Lord’s neck and pulled her in tight for a hug. After everything had been said and done, she needed just the briefest moment of normality and care. The Doctor complied, if a little wary on the upkeep, hand smoothing up and down her spine as she hummed a soft tune. When the Doctor shifted back enough to look into her eyes, the ravenous smirk had been replaced with a concerned one.

“Okay?”

Yaz nodded her head slowly, trying not to think about what would happen next. She knew what she wanted, but the rest was for the Doctor to decide. With strength returning to her arms, she untangled herself from the Time Lord and set her arms to lie in her lap, eyes watching as she was given space to close up a little bit.

“Yeah…I’m f-”

She was about to say she was fine, which was mostly true, until the words caught in her throat as her mouth dropped. There was a flash of mischief in the Doctor’s eyes before she slid the two fingers that had once very much been destroying Yaz into her mouth. Her eyes had fluttered close slightly, and Yaz was convinced she was playing up at the way her knees rocked, moaning as she slowly moved them in and out. Squeezing her thighs together and heaving a sigh as the Doctor finished with an obscene pop.

“You’re just doing this on purpose now, aren’t you? Bloody hell…”

Judging by the smile she got, she was right.

“Mmm, dunno. Might be, might not be.”

The Doctor raised an eyebrow, head falling a little to the right as she spoke, gently tugging on her own lip for a moment before continuing.

“What’re you gonna do to me if I am…officer Khan?”

That was new. So was the reaction in generated in Yaz. It was almost as if she saw red, a strange mix of arousal and anger flashing over her face as her fingers caught hold of the belt loops of the Doctor’s culottes and dragged her back into her personal space. Lips met again in a heated exchange that there was no hope of the Time Lord taking any semblance of control of. She wilfully melted into the assault on her person, not caring that she had crashed knee-to-knee with Yaz, more focused on her lips being parted and a tongue dominating her into submission. There was no space to catch a breath, no space to make a sound, not that the Doctor minded at all. If anything, she was surprised at just how full on and intense Yaz could be if she set her mind on it. Feet gently made contact with the floor again as Yaz pushed herself off the table and forced the Doctor back a few steps to make some room for her. Being on the ground did mean that she had to reach up ever so slightly to keep on the same level, but it was all worth it as she moved her attention across her cheek and the sharp line of her cheekbone. The Doctor placed her hands underneath Yaz’s backside and squeezed as she helped to give her a boost to stand taller than her.

Yaz uncurled her fingers from around the trouser loops, freeing her hands so that they could explore the vast milky expanse of the Doctor’s back and shoulders. She was smooth and supple, very responsive to even the lightest of touches, particularly across her lower back and the dip of her spine. Yaz nipped at her earlobe, lips twitching with a restrained smile as she heard the Doctor gasp and groan at the new sensation. She made an even more staggered and exasperated sound when she drew a short line with her tongue just behind it.

“You’ve had your fun, Doctor, but now it’s my turn. I’ll make you talk.”

She punctuated her next words with kissed back over the Doctor’s cheek and lips, and then down the front of her throat.

“Be a good girl and let me get you out of these trousers, hmm.”

The Doctor gasped as Yaz’s hands came around her hips and began to wrestle with the button and zip of her culottes, the vibrations in her throat travelling right across her lips as she kissed around to one side of her neck. She swore she was close to dropping to the floor the moment she felt Yaz guiding the trousers down over her hips while she made quiet work of teasing nips and licks against her skin. When the Doctor felt her trousers hit the floor, she coerced Yaz away with a nudge of hips and repositioning her hands to push at her hips. There was an almost amused smile on Yaz’s face as she watched the Time Lord frantically kick her way out of both boots and trousers, leaving her left in only striped socks and star patterned shorts. If she hadn’t been lost in the desire to practically force the Doctor to open up by joining in with sex being used as leverage, she would have found her adorable. It was a thought for a later date. With a pointed stare, Yaz gestured towards the Doctor’s shorts, hands on hips as she watched her visibly squirm in place.

“Those too. But, slowly. I want to see all of you.”

It was a complete transformation to see the Doctor go from the master of control to someone without any clue of how to react. Yaz was enjoying herself far too much, and despite the trepidation in the Doctor’s hands, her face showed she was enjoying it too.

The Doctor tilted her head backwards slightly, whining quietly to herself, fingers gently edging their way towards the thick waistband of her shorts. She never attempted to make eye contact and kept her gaze to the ceiling as she gently urged the skin-tight material down over her hips. Yaz hummed with approval, unable to tear her eyes away from the new skin being exposed to her. There was something particularly thrilling at the way the Doctor seemed to shimmy on the spot as she continued to travel lower down her thighs, finally letting the shorts drop to the floor around knee height. Contrasted to her earlier bravado, Yaz noticed that the Doctor was definitely closing in on herself more and more with each passing second. Her eyes and body softened instantly, arms opening up as she drew the Time Lord’s attention back to her. There was a long pause as the Doctor stared at her, finally cracking just enough to kick her shorts aside and step into the space presented to her. When Yaz wrapped her arms around her waist, some of the tension left her body.

“How long have you been waiting for a hug, Doctor?”

“I…don’t know.”

Her voice cracked slightly as she spoke, even though Yaz was convinced she was trying to hide it. Keeping an eye on where she walked, and making sure not to trip over discarded boots, Yaz meandered her way around with the Doctor in her arms until she had her against the desk once more. She managed to get herself up without any extra encouragement, keeping her chin planted on top of Yaz’s left shoulder and face buried in her hair. Yaz drew gentle circles up and down her back with both hands, leaning back in order to take the Doctor in when she finally pulled away to look at her.

“What do you…want to do? Because we don’t have to carry on, if there’s something else you need now.”

Yaz gave her best comforting smile, waiting out the seconds as the Doctor pondered her words. There were reservations in her eyes, so many things left unspoken, so many thoughts and feelings that Yaz wanted to know more about. When the Doctor briefly chewed on her lip again, she assumed that it was time to call things done. Except…the answer she got was entirely different to what she had prepared for.

“Um…if it’s alright with you, Yaz…I kinda…still need, you know, whatever this is. Or was. Or. I don’t know. Just…I need…”

“A softer to-”

“N-no! No…um…ugh, why is this body so awkward? I want what we were doing before. I like you being in charge right now. It’s…thrilling.”

The Doctor’s words trailed off as she spoke, growing quieter and quieter until Yaz had to strain to hear them. Although, she still managed to receive the message loud and clear. Sweeping some blonde hair out of the Time Lord’s eyes, she pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead, trailing down until she reached the tip of the Doctor’s nose. She was greeted with a shy smile, one that was soon taken up by her own lips. There was more understanding in the kiss than had been shown all night, but with the Doctor’s hands coming to rest on her waist to bring her in closer, it certainly didn’t take much longer before Yaz was back up to speed with where they had left off. Whilst craning the Doctor’s head back with one hand threaded into her hair near the nape of her neck to gain even deeper access to her mouth, Yaz let her other hand freely roam up and down across the top of the Doctor’s right thigh. She could feel the faint marbling of her skin whenever her fingertips brushed closer to the innermost parts of her, finding the stripes of lines almost as sensitive as the gentle curve of her neck.

Which was where she needed to be.

Sounds of protest were soon turned into sounds of pleasure as Yaz lay a trail of languid open-mouthed kisses against the Doctor’s neck. Being so up close, she could take in the unique scent that the Doctor always seemed to have. There wasn’t anything quite able to sum it up succinctly, nor break it down into specific components, but it was deep and earthy and undeniably hers. With the sweat on her skin as Yaz found a spot to slowly increase the pressure of her teeth, she even tasted like it. The Doctor keened her hips and clung tightly to Yaz as she drew out a long moan with her bite. This was so much better than having something, or someone, grabbing her with their hands. While that rush was instantaneous and always kicked her more alien organs into gear, this was so much more...human. It was a quiet building pain that made her knees weak and all sense of reason leave her. Sure, the marks would fade within a few hours, but she would remember the moment for the rest of her days. Her nails dug ever so slightly into Yaz’s back as she pulled away and left another mark lower down on her neck. It was closer to her shoulder, somewhere between it and her clavicle, and it somehow felt even better than the first time around.

Yaz wasted no time in continuing her journey of exploration across the Doctor’s body, sliding both hands away from their current positions to rest against a slim waistline. She could feel the brutal hammering of the Doctor’s hearts in her chest as she kissed down her sternum and briefly paused to take in the foreign sensation. Part of her had thought it was a joke that the Time Lord had two hearts, still not entirely sure if the whole ‘ectospleen’ thing was part of that as well. Now, she knew for sure, and the harsh beat of them was beyond beautiful to her.

“Are you going to tell me what’s been going on, or do I have to drag it out of you?”

Muttering into her skin as her hands lay dangerously close to the swell of the Doctor’s chest, she waited for a response that never came aside from another whine. Tutting quietly, Yaz leant forward and forced the Doctor to keep herself upright by holding herself to the table, eyes boring holes into Yaz as she slowly began to massage her breasts between her hands. The staring match lasted considerably less time than Yaz had managed herself, and soon the Doctor’s head had rolled back as she all but whimpered at the touch. She was nothing if not vocal, and Yaz appreciated the cues to work off. Although she still was not getting answers to her questions, which was irksome. She swapped one hand for her mouth, letting it resume stroking against the inside of the Doctor’s thigh as she began to swirl her tongue over an awaiting nipple. Fire and electricity were shooting through her body in an elicit and addictive cocktail, spurring the Doctor on to desire each touch more than air and logic. Everything felt so much more raw and powerful now that she was a woman, and apparently this body was very keen to make sounds that she had not heard before. Then again, under the relentless ministrations of Yaz, it was hard to keep her mouth shut. Her tongue was precise and delicate, lips adding just the right amount of pressure as her fingers worked in tandem, never mind the fact that she was deliberately riling her up by staying just shy of sliding between her legs.

“Y-Yaz...I...ah! Please…”

“Please what, Doctor?”

She spoke before swapping hand and mouth over, eliciting another moan as the Doctor stumbled over her words with short breaths.

“P-please...this is...god...torture…”

Yaz merely hummed in response, drawing a slow line with her nails against the sensitive skin of the Doctor’s thigh, trying not to laugh at how hard she arched out and cried in response to the sudden low sting. She tried to signal with a roll of her hips what she wanted, but either Yaz was ignoring her or was ignorant to her plight. The Doctor wasn’t about to suddenly start babbling about what was going on inside her head, however, if that was what she was after. Oh no, there was a specific time and place. Being ravished against an old desk was certainly not the time nor the place. Still, Yaz was very persistent in her ways. Both her head and her mouth began another slow descent downwards, lips passing under her breast until she nipped her way down her stomach. Her hand came against her other thigh, both of them being pressed into the desk as Yaz held herself up just enough to reach the Doctor’s hip bone. She could hear her mind daring her to travel lower, to give the Time Lord what she clearly wanted, but she refused herself the opportunity. Instead, another idea made itself known, one that would more than likely help keep her on track for drawing whatever information she wanted out of the Doctor’s mouth. Yaz rose up again, beckoning the Doctor to look at her with a kiss to the underside of her chin. When their eyes met again, hers were half closed and practically begging.

When Yaz moved one hand to rest against one of the Doctor’s there was a brief flash of confusion across her face before it was replaced with a silent ‘o’. Yaz shifted her hand ever closer to the spot between the Doctor’s legs, feeling the faintest whispers of hairs against her fingertips as she stopped dangerously close to the source of heat and burning arousal. Eyes fixed on the Doctor, Yaz finally moved her hand after seconds of nothing. The result was instant. She heard an appreciative moan as her fingers easily glided through slick folds. Smiling at her success, glad that she could garner such a strong reaction from the Doctor, Yaz withdrew her hand and held it up between her face and the Doctor’s.

“It seems to me like someone’s got a bit of an oral fixation. Will you be good and open up for me, Doctor?”

Hazel-green eyes, mostly darkened by heavily dilated pupils, opened wide at the mere suggestion, brain quickly latching on to whatever mad idea Yaz had come up with. There was a clear spike in both her adrenaline and arousal, eyes shifting between the shimmering fingers offered up to her and the sickeningly sweet smile Yaz was forcing in her direction. Her hearts leapt into her throat as she slowly parted her lips and left her mouth mostly open for Yaz. With her tongue staying flat, the Doctor waited for the two fingers to be placed on top of it, lips soon curling around them as a guttural moan reverberated in her throat at the sudden taste of herself. She could feel everything, each little intent in Yaz’s fingers and how the tips of them were purposefully brushing over her teeth as she twisted her tongue around them and took everything in. The Doctor closed her eyes and revelled in the sensation, bobbing her head ever so slightly until she had licked clean every inch she could.

“Tell me how you taste.”

As both fingers were pulled from her mouth with a slick pop, the Doctor opened her eyes and turned them to the floor as she stuttered. She couldn’t get her brain to engage the request, hands clawing deeper into the desk.

“I…I…”

She was alerted to a quiet laugh from Yaz, drawing her attention long enough to see her smile widening as she pushed her face as close to the Doctor she could get.

“Guess I’ll just have to see for myself, won’t I?”

What was that supposed to mean? Was she going to do the same thing, but to herself? The Doctor wanted to question and interject, but her words failed her as she watched Yaz gracefully drop down onto her knees and stare up at her with such a powerful lusty stare she swore the world had stopped in its tracks. It was hard to breathe, the air was so thick and clogging her lungs, breath coming in sharp and fast to compensate for the overwhelming sensation of drowning in nothing. Fingers gave a white-knuckle grip to the desk and sent pain up into her wrists as she felt Yaz slide her hands under her thighs and coax both of her legs to rest on top of her shoulders. She was sparing no expense at all to completely throw her into a sensory overload. The visuals, the tingles, everything was leaving her with nowhere to turn apart from staring into the abyss of her imminent demise. Yaz began to slowly kiss up one of her thighs, causing the Doctor to close her eyes and whimper sporadically.

“Oh god, oh god, oh god.”

She wasn’t ready. She knew what was coming and she hated and loved it in equal measure.

“I haven’t even touched you yet, Doctor.”

There was a smug and authoritative tone to Yaz’s voice as she moved to the opposite thigh, teasing nips with her teeth as she moved ever higher and closer to her intended destination. Even from where she was, she could feel lingering traces of sweat and arousal clinging to the Doctor’s skin.

“Yes…Yaz…I know b-but…this is…everything is…I’m just…ooooh.”

As soon as her tongue made contact, Yaz felt two hands thread tightly into her hair and heard the Doctor’s back make contact with the desk. Hips chased her touch with feverish desire, and Yaz was more than eager to comply with the request for more contact. It was like sliding through the finest of silk, warm and inviting. Several kisses were mixed in with long and slow laps of her tongue, each time just short of coming into contact with the Doctor’s clit. Although when fingers gently tugged her up higher, nose brushing upwards on the pull, Yaz began to gently flick at the cluster of nerves. The Doctor was rolling her hips in time with the motions, and Yaz swore she was talking in some language she didn’t even have the faintest hope of understanding. Which was true. Gallifreyan tumbled from the Time Lord’s lips with wanton abandon, punctuated by gasps each time Yaz found the sweet spot to pleasure. Fingers pressed into her backside, squeezing and kneading, urging her to keep the even pace against her tongue. Every so often, Yaz would slow or quicken her pace, occasionally teasing the smallest of dips further into the Doctor’s core as she worked with the melodic sounds that trailed around the room.

Each time Yaz’s tongue pressed eagerly inside, the Doctor cursed under her breath. She wanted more, craved it, but then she was distracted again by the gentle sucking motion that accompanied the lavish attention of one truly skilled tongue tracing patterns against her clit. The Doctor had no idea that it was possible for such a thing to feel so good, and equally cursed how quickly she could feel herself freefalling towards the precipice. Her hips gained speed, back arching away from the table as Yaz continued to work away at her with a new sense of vigour and stamina. Humans were meant to breathe, weren’t they? Not that she cared. The Doctor’s moans grew higher and higher, and Yaz guessed that the shuddering against her shoulders was a clear indication that the Time Lord was oh so close. Settling in on a found pattern that was generating the loudest of sounds, Yaz just about had enough time and air left to jerk one hand from underneath the Doctor’s backside and push a finger under her chin to slide through dripping folds and crook upwards.

Yaz felt a strong jolt of hips almost throw her off balance, followed by a strangled cry as the Doctor’s body curled inwards on itself sharply for a moment. Spasms shot through her entire body, a veritable tsunami of relief flooding her system as her mind feel void of all thought. Yaz carefully drew her through the orgasm with gentle kisses as she retracted her finger and slowly set about lowering the Doctor’s legs from her shoulders. By the time she had worked herself free, the shaking and shattered breaths had fallen to stillness and a quiet sigh. It took a few moments for her own weakened legs to cooperate, but by the time Yaz was up on her feet, she was able to pull the Doctor upright and into her arms. A wobbly head fell against her shoulder, twitching as the Doctor quietly laughed into her neck, arms wrapping around her waist and clinging to her tightly. They remained in silence for what felt like a lifetime or more, simply leaving featherlight kisses or stroking each other until the Doctor broke the silence.

“Do you...still want me to talk?”

“Only if you want to.”

The Doctor pulled her head back just enough to press a gentle kiss to Yaz’s lips, shifting her hips so she could slide off the table and look into her eyes. Dark eyes once hazed over with anger and desire had softened to warm pools of love and consideration, all directed at her. Really, in between the still lingering euphoria, the Doctor felt horrible about her behaviour over the last few days. Eyes quickly turned to the scattered piles of clothes dotted around the room, before a small smile appeared on her face. If the TARDIS played her cards right - which she would, given the circumstances - then it would be very easy to get to one of her many bedrooms and settle somewhere that was a lot comfier than a stuffy study. Plus, she didn’t exactly mind the short walk in the nude, and was more than happy to lend her coat out to Yaz just in case. Stepping back and holding out her hand, the Doctor gave a shy nod as she looked through a curtain of matted blonde hair.

“Really...I think I have to. Come on.”

* * *

Tucked up in the safety of a plush double bed, the Doctor twisted over onto her side and looked over at Yaz. Her hand gently stroked her bare forearm, the other helping to keep herself propped up on her elbow. There were no words to explain how terrified she was about opening up, but it had been a process that was long overdue. Out of anyone she had seen in her current lifetime, the safest person around was Yaz. She was kind, and caring, and beyond brilliant. Perhaps she would understand after all. The Doctor let out a long-held breath, closing her eyes as she drew her mind as far back as it could go. Might as well start from the very beginning.

“So...I was born on Gallifrey...some two or so thousand years ago…”


	3. Let's Let Things Come Out Of The Woodwork

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saving the city of New York from the Skithra? Just in a days work. But dealing with the realisation that you're actually quite lonely? Not the best thing for the Doctor, but Yaz in on hand to offer a kind ear. And more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For: Nikola Tesla's Night of Terror
> 
> I wasn't planning to make this into, like, a full-blown thing...  
> BUT! You guys had some absolutely amazing ideas for the last load of episodes  
> So, I couldn't resist writing them for very long.
> 
> This one came off @sapphichymns so thanks Elika  
> Hope this has lived up to expectations~
> 
> (Song Inspiration: Lorde - Homemade Dynamite)

“Doctor?”

Yaz wandered around the console room, looking around the empty space with a curious gaze. She had gone into her room to get changed out of her period appropriate dress, ready to go home, but she had been distracted by the sound of the TARDIS wheezing into life almost prematurely. The walls had shook gently from the landing, and it had piqued yaz’s curiosity. There was no way that the Doctor would have set off without them, in fact she made a point of it more often than not, The whole fam had to be in the room to listen to her ramble and to make sure she had indeed landed in the right place and time. She ran her hands over the console itself, feeling the warmer parts of the metal where the Doctor had evidently been not that long ago. The doors were shut, but she still felt herself moving towards them on instinct. Or was it the TARDIS urging her? Either way, when yaz came to the doors, she found that they pulled open very easily. The Doctor had gone somewhere, but where?

Peering out from the door, Yaz looked around the area that the TARDIS had decided to land in, and she knew exactly where she was. She recognised the tables filled with blueprints and books, the various canisters and vials, along with heaps of metal curiosities. The Doctor was in Tesla’s lab. Gently closing the door behind her, Yaz stepped out into the vast room, gasping quietly as she watched the moonlight cascading through one of the giant windows. Not a few hours back, she had watched the Doctor come face to face with the Skithra queen...how she had treated her...and how she had brushed it off as nothing. As much as Yaz had been glad that the whole situation had been resolved, that Tesla was still clinging onto hope for his own future, she had been left with a deep rooted sense of confusion and even a little bit of fear. There was something seeping out of the Doctor that was putting her on edge, andi t was clearly affecting her too if she had decided to come back to Tesla’s lab. The sound of her boots echoed through the room as she slowly stepped further away from the TARDIS, head turning in all ways to try and see where the Doctor was.

She found herself transfixed by the moon in the sky, however, gravitating then towards the window and looking out at old New York all around her. Everything looked so peaceful so calm, as if the day had never happened at all. She imagined the people sleeping soundly in their beds, soon to forget the giant scorpion aliens and sparks flying through the sky. Yaz was so lost in her own little world, that she never heard the Doctor’s own footsteps behind her. When a hand was placed onto her shoulder, she all but jumped out of her skin and turned around sharply to see the Doctor’s weary smile and tired eyes.

“Yaz? What’re you doing here? Also, sorry. Didn't mean to make you jump…”

Taking a few seconds to catch her breath back and settle her own sudden nerves, Yaz let her head fall slightly to one side as she looked deeper into the Doctor’s expression. There was something in her soft tone that made her want to try and figure out what was wrong, ask about it, but something else entirely was holding her back.

“I heard the TARDIS moving. You don’t travel without out and...well, I was worried. So I came to see where you were. Didn’t think you’d be back here in Tesla’s lab of all places.”

The Doctor hummed quietly to herself, taking her hand from her shoulder and returning it to her coat pocket. She moved to stand at the side of Yaz and joined her to stare at the world outside. With the pale light falling through the faintly cracked glass, Yaz found herself slightly taken aback by how ancient she looked. It was like she was staring at the most beautiful relic of time. They stayed in silence for unknown minutes, simply enjoying the calm company of each other after the intense day, but eventually the Doctor spoke.

"Came to remind myself of some things…"

Turning her body towards the Doctor, fighting back an urge to comfort her with some kind of physical contact, Yaz quietly questioned the statement.

"Remind yourself of what?"

"That I'm not really as alone as time has made me think. There are other people out there who feel...outcasts...just for their brilliant minds and desire to create things for the greater good of people. People who will change the course of history for the better, even if their names are lost to the ravages of time. But also...also that sometimes I really am too human."

Her voice was quiet, as tired as the expression on her face, full of longing and hints of regret. Yaz thought back to the panic she had felt when the Doctor had gone off on her tirade, pushed it aside, replaced those feelings with something else. The Doctor had only gone and tried to save them - again - so surely that would take its toll. She watched the Doctor's shoulders slump, shake slightly as she laughed, finishing off with a long sigh as her hands came to rest on the windowpane.

"Don't mind me, Yaz. Just being silly is all. Why don't you get back to the TARDIS, sorry for disturbing you."

As the Doctor went to shoo her away, Yaz held out a hand and caught the sleeve of her coat, slowly lowering her arm down as she shook her head with a soft smile.

"You aren't being silly. You met someone you clearly admire, and felt that hidden kinship. That's not a bad thing. And I'm not going anywhere. Not until you're okay again. I…"

She paused, suddenly frightened by the intense way the Doctor was staring at her. It was as if the rest of the world suddenly didn't matter, and it was a look that Yaz knew she hadn't seen thrown her way in quite a while. Taking her hand back, both if then came together to wring in front of her blazer, dark eyes turning to the floor as she suddenly felt very exposed. The Doctor was lost, afraid almost, surely it was fine for her to talk about what had happened. How she felt. It had to be. Briefly chewing on the inside of her cheek, Yaz looked back up to the Doctor and smiled.

"Thank you for coming to get me. And...and...um. Implying I was important…"

Yaz waited to be laughed at, ridiculed for thinking something so ridiculous as the Doctor thinking she was important, but it never came. What happened instead turned her stock still, muscles tensing. The Doctor stepped into her personal space, arms wide and wrapping them so tightly around her, that Yaz thought it was someone else. She felt her chin rest against her shoulder, bobbing up and down as the Doctor spoke into the crook of her neck.

"That wasn't just an implication. I meant it, Yaz. You are important. So very important. To me."

Slowly, Yaz let herself relax into the contact, wriggling her arms out from being crushed against the Doctor's stomach and wound them around her waist slowly. It felt surreal to be hugging the Doctor - especially after thinking about it - but she had to admit that it was beyond wonderful. Yaz felt warm air against her skin, a tingling sensation running down her neck as she felt the Doctor talk again.

"Let me show you just how much I'm proud of you for today. How much I'm glad you're here with us. With me."

While Yaz twisted to have a better look at the Doctor, the Time Lord also moved enough so they were finally looking at each other again. Something else had appeared in hazel-green eyes, something going deeper than longing. Her heart rate began to pick up exponentially as the Doctor leant in closer, eyes flicking down to her lips ever so slightly.

"Doctor…"

"Yaz...can I...just…"

Her words were hot against her lips, so dangerously close now, that Yaz was almost sure of what was about to happen. Almost; as it still took her breath away and shut her brain down when the Doctor finally closed the microscopic distance and pressed her lips to her own. It was light, tender, hardly anything at all but when she pulled away to look into half closed eyes, Yaz knew that she desperately wanted more of it. She closed the gap again, pressing even closer to the Doctor and twisting her towards the windowed wall, a low noise reverberating in her throat as the Doctor gasped into her kiss. She was receptive, arms moving up the back of Yaz until they had come to loop around her neck. Her fingers brushed against her skin, working through the shortest of her hairs, enjoying the velveteen sensation.

With a nudge of her chin, the Doctor pushed Yaz back just enough to admire the tinge of pink to her cheeks and the beginnings of a smile on her face.

"Are you...are you sure about this Yaz?

She had to check. Had to make sure she hadn't started crossing a boundary without due care and consent. Although, judging by the silent laugh and gentle brush of noses, the Doctor had nothing at all to worry about.

"I'm sure."

"Okay...good. Just...tell me to stop whenever, yeah?"

Yaz nodded slowly, just about to question about 'stopping' but the moment her mouth dropped slightly, the Doctor's lips were back on her own and her tongue slipped under her teeth. She groaned into the pleasant intrusion, only just about able to keep up with the Doctor walking her backwards. Part of her was expecting to collide into the TARDIS doors, but something else soon hit her back instead. Metal legs squeaked against the wooden floor as the table rocked from the contact, glass vials clattering as papers were forced backwards from the impact. The Doctor pulled back just long enough, cheeks a deep pink, to have her eyes gesture to the table.

"Sit."

Yaz was given the space necessary to flip the tails of her blazer onto the table, hands steadying it as she jumped and slid herself onto the surface. More papers moved, some scattering to the floor, and soon enough the Doctor had forced a space between her legs to stand in and kissed her again with sudden vigor. Yaz was distracted briefly by the taste of the Doctor's lips - cinnamon and black tea - and how skillfully she could use her tongue to coax out all kinds of sounds between kisses. She was the conductor of her own orchestra, using every means at her disposal to draw out a song of saccharine and salacious harmony. She would sigh and sing in kind, leaning in closer to Yaz enough that she had to keep herself from tumbling with her hands against the edge of the roughened table. The Doctor had taken to holding herself up with hands perched on Yaz's thighs, thumbs drawing lines up and down over her concealed trousers and pressing into her with a distinct pressure that put her on edge with the promise of more.

She wanted to touch the Doctor herself, but it was safer not to risk colliding into everything else that still remained on the table. Her one shred of sanity still clinging on swore it was the worst idea to upset Nikola Tesla. Especially considering the day they had already had. There was no time to heave a sigh of relief as the Doctor relinquished her hold on her lips and in her mouth, the only noises coming from her being gasps and whines as her kisses moved up across her cheek and then down to her jaw. They were featherlight and teasing, hardly doing more than increasing her heart rate and body temperature. Her attire was stifling and restrictive, heating her up even further. The starting smoulders of an inferno were lighting inside her, simmering away under the surface, waiting to burst free.

The Doctor was surprisingly in tune with her cues, returning to keep her weight in her legs so she could free up her hands to tackle the perfectly form accentuating jacket that tied Yaz up like the perfect present. The buttons came undone quickly with her precise slender fingers flicking them open one by one. She slid her hands up Yaz's arms until she reached her shoulders, finding her way under the heavy woven fabric to ease it away from her body. Yaz shucked herself free, just about managing to untangle her arms from the sleeves and allow the jacket to drop to the floor with a muted thud. Not content with just removing the jacket however, the Doctor set her sights on her shirt as well.

She stopped lavishing attention on the skin just behind Yaz's ear, setting her eyes on the small gold and emerald brooch that sat just under the collar of her pressed white shirt. As much as she wanted to kiss her again - more than anything - the Doctor resisted and carefully unpinned the delicate piece of jewellery. She slipped it into the pocket of her coat with a smile on her face.

"Don't want to lose that. But that shirt, meanwhile…"

Yaz tried to hold back a laugh, failed, shoulders juddering as she snickered softly.

"Really, Doctor. That's your line."

"Hey, that's a perfectly valid chat-up line you know. I thought I was being all suave and sophisticated."

"If you want it off, then…"

With a sly wink and a flash of teeth, Yaz gripped onto the bottom of her shirt and slowly began to tug it over the top of her head. She was glad of the sheer amount of hairspray and pins in her hair that kept her plait on place atop her head. Once she was finally free of the white shirt, she dropped it down between her legs, reclining back on her hands and puffing out her chest. She delighted in catching the Doctor off guard, loved how her eyes widened and she licked her lips like a waiting predator. One, two strides later and clothes kicked under the table, the Doctor was laying harder and needier kisses down the slope of her neck, a stroke of her hand against Yaz's cheek encouraging her to tilt her head to one side so she had a cleaner line to follow. As a thumb stroked up and down the underside of her jaw, whines lost under a deep low growl, the Doctor used her free hand to glide up Yaz's spine to tackle the two hooks of her white t-shirt bra.

"You don't know just how sweet you taste, Yaz."

The Doctor mumbled into her skin as she freed the bra clasps, shifting her hands again to encourage the straps down Yaz's shoulders. Feeling herself become exposed to the open air felt strange, filling her mind with anxiety and vulnerability, although as she moved her hands out of the loops and the Doctor slowly applied pressure to her neck with sharp teeth, all thoughts turned to mush. She could feel the fire sparking again, sending a rush of heat and arousal between her legs as the Doctor pressed harder still until she was gasping for air. When she felt a lash of a tongue and another spike of pressure, her gasp turned into a high moan and trailed off into nothingness until the Doctor released her with a showing snap of teeth.

"You sound just as sweet too. It's addictive. All of you is. I've been holding all of this back so long. I'll make you feel so good, Yaz."

The Doctor's hands slowly made their way up the front of Yaz's stomach, lips becoming entangled with her own again and soaking up every breathy sigh. Her hands came around her breasts, thumbs tracing circles over hardening nipples as she moved one leg to slot in between Yaz's own and encouraged her to rock herself against it. The table shuddered with each movement, metal legs quietly creaking as the Doctor moved her lips across the side of Yaz's jaw and made a beeline for the other side of her neck. However, she didn't stop descending, moving to kiss across her shoulder and then across her clavicle. Teeth gently nipped at the thin and fragile skin, drawing out another moan until she heard Yaz's breath hitch when she kissed over her pounding heart. Her back arched in response, the motion filling the Doctor's hands further, fingers moving to pinch at her nipples lightly before one hand dropped to make way for her lips. She was soft and gentle, slow even, but Yaz was convinced she knew exactly what she was doing. The Doctor would switch up her strokes whenever she caught wind of a higher wine or a gasp, teeth grazing over her skin before eventually swapping sides over and lavishing the same delicious attention on the other side of her body. It was next to impossible to think, do anything but make noises of approval, and if it weren’t for the straining of the muscles in her arms then Yaz would have clung to the Doctor’s head as if it was a lifetline.

When she gave one final tug of her teeth, the Doctor sighed into her again, peppering kisses across her breasts before making her way down her stomach. Yaz could feel herself tensing under the contact, breath coming out staggered and quick as she felt the tense knot building up and flaring more heat through her veins. Although, soon the contact ended, and she heaved a sigh as the Doctor rose up to face her again. She was smiling, eyes still blown wide and cheeks burning red, although she imagined her own face was pretty much painting a similar picture. One pale hand ran up and down her side as the other drew a slow path up the top of her thigh, coming to move above the high waisted pants and twist around the zipper that kept them strangling her midriff. In the empty room, the sound was almost amplified to excessive levels, followed by the snap of metal clasps until cool air began to hit the lowest part of her stomach.

“Are you ready for me?”

Yaz huffed out half a laugh mixed with a groan, another flash of heat wracking her body as the Doctor spoke in a low husk, drawing her eyes down to her hand as it disappeared under the thick material of her trousers and toyed with the harsh elastic band of her underwear. As her fingertips broke through the barrier, passing over traces of thin curls of hair, Yaz couldn’t help but close her eyes and thrust her hips out just enough to force the Doctor down lower. She could hear her gasp slightly as her fingers pushed down through burning skin and found her answer.

“I’ll take that as a yes then.”

There was something undeniably alluring about how the Doctor was able to throw on a persona of intense sex appeal without breaking a sweat. Yaz could practically feel her smirking as she slid down further still, pausing for a moment before dragging her fingers back up and crooking them just enough to glide over her clit and causing her to shudder from the contact. Fingers clung harder to the roughened surface of the table as Yaz leant forward enough to catch herself against the Doctor’s shoulder. She groaned into her ear as she repeated the same smooth motion, biting down on her own tongue as she heard the Time Lord growl again. Even with the space restriction, she was still as deft and dexterous as ever as she flicked and twisted her way around her. Yaz found that rocking her hips in time to her strokes only increased the pressure against her, and she continued to chase the sensation as the tight twist in her stomach continued to wind tighter and tighter. Her vocal cues only made the Doctor work harder - every now and then, she would push down further and tease her entrance - working faster as she found the perfect rhythm that made the gasps in her ear grow louder and wilder.

“It’s not just science and the universe I desire, Yaz…”

With a groan, Yaz moved her head back up to stare at the Doctor, taking in the smirk she had been picturing in her head the whole time. She was climbing higher much quicker than she had thought, barely holding herself together as she was being driven to distraction. Yaz knew she was being led on with the open ended statement, knew things were about to come crashing down around her, but she still encouraged her with a flick of her eyes.

“It’s you.”

Her words were punctuated with a harsh kiss, tongue driving into her mouth and swallowing the shattering cry that tore through Yaz’s throat as the burning pressure in her stomach exploded with a torrent of pleasure. Her hips jolted violently as sparks flew inside her mind and her body was tilted back further towards the table from the overwhelming presence of the Doctor. Her fingers continued to move and draw out every second of her pleasure, but slowed down just enough for her to slowly withdraw herself from the confines of her underwear. With her free arm working around Yaz’s waist to hold her in place, she pulled back from the deep kiss and gave her room to gasp shallow lungfuls of air and settle the painful pounding of her heart. It took a while before Yaz could come around from the whole experience, breathing a shaky sigh of relief before using her still quaking arms to right herself again. She could feel loose strands of hair clinging to her face and down the nape of her neck, felt the sweat that coated her torso cooling in the lab. The Doctor’s face had changed from one of lust and longing, to something Yaz was unsure how to begin describing. Still, she placed a gentle kiss to her cheek and helped to fasten her trousers back up again before stepping out of her personal space and gesturing down towards the pile of clothes on the floor.

“Come on, let’s get you covered up a little bit more and get back to the TARDIS. Think a good night’s sleep is in order, hmm.”

“But...Doctor...what about-”

The Doctor held out a hand, smiling as she shook her head.

“No, it’s fine. Really. I think...maybe it’s better to leave things here. I don’t really...um....you don’t have to...you know. This was for you, not for me. I’m okay.”

Yaz found herself at a loss for words, only just about managing to nod herself, although she did smile as the Doctor handed her bra back to her and offered to help wrap it back around her. As the shirt was passed to her in kind, Yaz found herself wondering how the rest of the night was going to pan out for her - as well as every other trip still yet to come.


	4. I Wanna Feel Her Hands Go Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a whirlwind day of dealing with Judoon and a chance meeting with a friend of the Doctor's, yaz takes stock of herself and finds herself in need of something from the Doctor (follow-on from chapter 3)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't forgotten about this! Other writing just came up instead.  
> I saw a LOT of call for something to do with Officer Mode Yaz, as well as handcuffs....so  
> Here we are.
> 
> For those of you who seriously love some top!Yaz, I hope you enjoy~
> 
> (Song Inspiration: Sudden Desire - Hayley Williams)

They had tried their best to get the Doctor to brighten up. Well, Yaz had to admit most of the work had been on Ryan and Graham. They had such a way with words, and she had no idea where hers had gone. It felt like only yesterday that she had been calling the Doctor the best person she had ever met, hanging off her every word, desperate to work her way into her life and see everything the universe had to offer. Now...her mind was entirely elsewhere and constantly at war with the idea she had no clue who she was even travelling with. What was it about the Doctor that was constantly drawing her in, and why did it hurt so much now? After the incident with the Judoon and hearing about everything that had happened - Jack, Cybermen, Ruth - Yaz had needed to get away. She had gone home, found her way into her bedroom and sat on her bed with her uniform on her lap. She ran her fingers over the sleeves of her shirt, traced lines over the fleece material, and sighed. She had waited her whole life to be an officer, to be someone who could uphold the law. She had done so today, but it was completely out of her remit and nobody would ever care to know about it.

Yaz needed to take control of her life, by whatever means necessary. The first part was to get back in touch with the role she had come to know and love. She needed to feel safe and secure, like her hard work mattered. It had been so long since she had been in uniform. She took her time getting out of her clothes, folding each piece up onto her bed slowly and with consideration. She was shedding all of her worries and fears, bringing up her walls again and finding the inner strength she knew she was losing. Perhaps it would also serve as a reminder to the Doctor as to who exactly she was travelling with. Finally zipping up the jacket, she ran her fingers over the blue and white checkered pattern across her shoulders, a smile working its way onto her face. Now she was ready for whatever life was about to throw at her, and about what she was going to throw at the Doctor. Although, something was missing. Something important. Throwing a random coat over her uniform, Yaz set off on her way towards her station.

* * *

The doors of the TARDIS opened up for her as she approached them, a gentle reminder that the space and time ship was still her home. Or at least, her second home. She strode in with purpose, hands in her pockets as she fiddled with something between her fingers on one side. She could see the Doctor with her back to her, messing around with the console as if she had no concept of the fact she was being watched. Yaz tried to keep her footsteps quiet, but as she rose up the first step, the Doctor straightened up and twisted around on the spot. She opened her mouth to talk, but nothing happened. Yaz watched her eyes san over her - up and down, several times - before her mouth closed again and she seemed to back herself up against the console with wide eyes.

“I...I didn’t know you were on shift today, Yaz.”

With her own smile spreading wide, Yaz positioned herself just a few paces away from the Doctor, shaking her head slightly as she hummed quietly before responding to her.

“No, not today. Just thought I’d remind myself of the job I’ve dedicated my life to. Today made me realise just how much it means to me. It feels...really good to be back in my uniform.”

The Doctor nodded, hands quickly sliding into her coat pockets as her eyes turned towards the floor for a moment. There was a shiver of nervous energy in the room, something Yaz hadn’t felt in quite a while. A part of her felt bad for the plan she had decided to put into place, but something was telling her it was the only way to get the Doctor to actually open up to her. On her own. Without the interruption of the boys. It was something she needed to get off her chest as well, something that had been brewing for a while. Yaz took another stride into the Doctor’s personal space, watching as her eyes came back up to her. She was trying to study her expression in kind, but Yaz was stone cold set on not revealing anything at all. Her fingers glided over the metal in her pocket, the smile on her face twitching slightly as she did a quick once over of the Doctor before talking again.

“Also. There was something else really good about today.”

Now that caught the Doctor off guard. She raised an eyebrow in question, mouth forming an oh as she waited for her silent confusion to be answered.

“You said something to me today. Something before we went into Ruth’s house. When the Judoon were trying to take over the whole situation. Do you remember what that was, Doctor?”

“Um...well...thing is Yaz, I said a lot of things back then. You’re going to have to be a little more specific than that. I did some rhyming, possibly insulted a Judoon captain without realising, I-”

Yaz took another step forward, completely backing the Doctor against the console. She heard the barely there gasp grace her lips, watched as her eyes widened and saw the outline of tense fists inside her coat pocket. Evidently, she was having the desired effect, and all she needed to do was put the final nail in the metaphorical coffin. There was something innately thrilling about leaving the Doctor on the back foot and watching the many cogs working in her brain in an attempt to keep up with the situation. Still, judging by the slight blush creeping across her cheeks then she was clearly in the right ballpark of ideas.

“You gave me a title, Doctor. Something that not even the force have managed to do yet. What was it again? Liaison...Officer. I kinda liked it. Although, take the first bit away, it’s a little bit clunky. How about we just stick with Officer Khan, hmm?”

There was a moment where she had to wait again for the Doctor to catch up with what she was getting at. Although, considering their close proximity, it thankfully didn’t take too long for her to get the idea. She watched her swallow - hard - pupils blowing even wider as her mouth dropped again in surprise. There was only one way to see if she had caught her. Yaz waited for a response, gently encouraging her by removing one hand from her pocket and stroking it down her arm.

“Y-yeah…”

“Yes what, Doctor?”

“Y-yes...Officer Khan.”

That phrase did something to Yaz, something she had never expected. It gave her a rush of power, made her heart rate spike, made her feel alive. She chuckled low in her throat, moving her hand back up the Doctor’s arm and feeling the muscles flex under her coat and her fingertips. She trailed it across her shoulder, moved her fingers up her neck and watched the Doctor tense even further. By the time she was trailing over the underside of her jaw, she settled her index finger against the dip of the Doctor’s chin under her lips and pushed down ever so slightly. Her head dropped in time to her touch, eyes lifting and falling between her lips and her own eyes so frantically that Yaz could almost hear exactly what the Doctor was thinking. Everything was going according to plan.

"Do you remember what happened a few nights ago, Doctor? New York. A certain lab. Before everything kicked off again. Do you remember that night?"

The Doctor tried to nod, despite her chin being held in place, leaving Yaz to mirror the smirk that had been presented to her in the memory of the night passed.

"You said no, at the time, but I thought that maybe...all things considered, you could do with some...attention. I've got a little something for you too, but that will have to wait. Until then, though…"

Yaz purred softly, still smiling up until the second she moved her finger up to the Doctor's lips. She slowly dragged it down, catching her sigh and quickly taking it in as she pressed her lips hard against the Doctor's own. Her body seemed to melt into the console itself, skin flushing rapidly under Yaz's touch to her cheek. She was a little surprised at how easy it had been to take charge of the situation, but perhaps the Doctor really did have a thing for women in uniform. If her whines between kisses were anything to go by, she certainly did. There was a different taste on her lips this time, but Yaz still knew it was the Doctor's mouth she was dominating with her tongue and her attention she held raptly. All she needed to do was move her from the console. That was very easy, apparently. She moved so both of her hands were wrapped around the lapels of the Doctor’s coat, and she started to pull her. They ended up walking backwards as Yaz slipped her tongue past her lips and into her mouth, almost losing her cool entirely as she felt the groan reverberate in the Doctor’s mouth. When she felt her feet come against the steps, the final part of her plan fell into place. Twisting the Doctor around on the spot and disconnecting their lips, she pushed her down until she hit the middle step. The Doctor looked up with a dazed expression and went to question her, but Yaz held up a hand and shook her head.

Slowly, one hand vanished into her pocket, coming back out again with something between her fingers. Hopefully, the station wouldn’t notice a pair of handcuffs missing from the equipment office. She had made sure to check the check-sheet before leaving the building. The cuffs swung around on two of Yaz’s fingers, and it was thrilling to see the Doctor stare at them, unmoving. Silence fell between them, broken by a sharp intake of breath.

“You know what these are, Doctor. I’m sure you can figure out why I brought them with me. But, first, there’s something that needs to be done first. Something very important. I want you to strip for me. Right here. Right now. Can’t be having all those tight fitting clothes in the way, now, can we?”

When the Doctor did nothing but continue to stare, Yaz moved closer and dropped down onto her knees. She leant over the Doctor and smiled at the way she pressed herself back into the steps, eyes still wide and lips parted in a delightful ‘o’ shape.

“Come on Doctor...if you won’t be a good girl, then we can’t play anymore. You don’t want that, do you?”

“I...um...y-yes…officer…”

“Get to it. I want to see how you look underneath it all.”

Yaz crawled away and straightened herself up to stand, eyes perfectly trained on the Doctor like a hawk. Voyeurism had not really been something she thought she would be into, but the dark blush across the Doctor’s face and the way her hands shook as she tried to fight her clothing whilst holding the stare was intoxicating to say the least. She frantically shrugged the coat from her shoulders and tossed it across the room, almost tangling herself up in her suspenders in the process. They dropped from her shoulders, hands disappearing under the waistband of her trousers to pick out both shirts. In one unusually smooth motion, she had pulled both of them over her head, messing up her hair in the process. It looked like the Doctor had been pulled through the trees, but it was the most arousing thing Yaz swore she had ever seen in her life. Those were tossed elsewhere as well, leaving the Doctor briefly sitting in front of her in just a rainbow banded sports bra. Yaz could make out the sharp lines of her collarbones, how they swept over to her shoulders and toned arms, the way she could see the faint rapid drumming of twin hearts against her chest. Again, the Doctor paused and watched her, slowly working her hands up to the underside of her bra, almost silently asking for permission. Yaz nodded, watched her swallow hard, felt another rush of adrenaline course through her as soon enough the Doctor sat on the steps completely bare from the waist up. As she moved to start to work on her trousers, Yaz tutted, and the Doctor froze up.

“Just your boots. I need to have a little fun myself, after all. You look so beautiful Doctor, do you know that? I can’t wait to feel you.”

With a slow nod, the Doctor got to work on untying her boots and kicking them off at the bottom of the stairs. She left them where they fell, looking back up at Yaz with almost eager eyes. She was greeted with a smirk in response as Yaz came closer towards her, brandishing the cuffs devilishly. Guided only by her eyes, the Doctor held her arms behind her, soon enough feeling her body being shifted closer towards the railings. Yaz pressed herself as close as she could, breathing against the Doctor’s ear as she twisted the cuffs into the correct place. When she was happy, she snapped them shut, pressing a butterfly light kiss behind the Doctor’s ear before she pulled back and watched her tug against them.

“Key’s in my pocket. Say ‘screwdriver’ and I’ll let you out, okay?”

Yaz whispered quietly, eyes softening as she made sure the Doctor understood. For all her posturing and domineering facade, she was determined to keep the Doctor safe from any actual harm. She’d never forgive herself if she crossed over a line she couldn’t see. Thankfully, there was a squeak of approval, and that was all she needed to give her the fire to continue on her path of destruction. Yaz carefully kissed the Doctor, slowly, waited to see what she would do in response. Unsurprisingly, she tried to move closer, pressing against her harder and attempting to nip at her lips. Denying her the pleasure of control, Yaz simply moved away and started to kiss against the slope of her jaw. The result was almost instant; the Doctor sighed, let her jaw go slack as she turned her head to the side just to encourage her to travel further down. How could she refuse? Her lips travelled across her jaw, breezing over her cheekbone briefly before moving down lower. Yaz noted that the Doctor was particularly sensitive just underneath the hige of her jaw and made sure to pay extra close attention to that spot by running her tongue over the skin there.

“Oh stars....”

Humming against the Doctor’s skin, Yaz lay searing kisses down one side of her neck, the sides of her hands brushing against her hips as she kept her balance against the stairs. The cuffs rattled against the railings as the Doctor's back arched, head coming dangerously close to hitting against the start of the hand rail as Yaz shifted and ran her tongue torturously slow up her throat. She couldn't stop the low moan vibrating through her, nor the sigh as she felt her tongue replaced with burning lips and teeth testing against her taut skin. God, if she had known that Yaz was so...forward...she would have done something ages ago. Just the feeling of her burying deep into her was enough to have her thoughts spiralling into the great unknown. Lips parted as the Doctor moaned long and slow, curling her fingers into fists and letting her back arch up further into Yaz’s body and revel in the burning heat between them. It was almost painful that she was naked and sweating, while Yaz was still wrapped up in her uniform. There was no way she could decide which she would prefer, however, finding herself loving the whole Officer deal far more attractive than she had thought possible. Figures of law really weren’t what she was into - often making her life hell - but Yaz made her reconsider everything. The way she just took all semblance of control away from her, left her helpless and bound to whatever she desired...the Doctor was in so deep and she never wanted to leave.

Teeth pressed harder against her neck, lips closing over skin and applying such delightful pressure that the Doctor thought she was already seeing stars in front of her eyes. Her breath hitched as Yaz teased her further, stuttering in a whisper before she lowered her lips further down her throat and bit down again. The Doctor’s mouth dropped further as she groaned, wishing desperately that she could hook her arms around Yaz’s neck and just feel her. Any part of her. Her shoulders. Her neck. Her hair. Anything at all. But she was stuck, rooted to the spot, bound and trapped underneath the weight of Yaz as she let her arms dance across the cool skin of her lower back. Fingers trailed over her vertebrae, leaving goosebumps in their wake as they travelled higher and higher the more she bit down.  Finally, regrettably so almost, Yaz let go of her and the Doctor could only manage a whine and a tug against the cuffs in response. Yaz laughed low as she moved to sit in the Doctor’s lap and let her hands slide around to the front of her stomach and gently ghost over her flushing skin. She was warm and pliable under her touch, and she had to admit that it was a wonder watching the Doctor’s muscles tense and twitch underneath her hands. Yaz took a moment of her time to pause and reflect, to truly take in everything that was the Doctor. Despite being soft, her body was also strong. Part of her wondered if she was able to do any damage to the cuffs that kept her in place, thoughts running wild in the process and her pupils dilating hard.

“I meant what I said Doctor, you really are beautiful. I’ll admit, it’s nothing short of a thrill to see you like this...so vulnerable and exposed...just for me.”

Her hands moved up slowly, grazing over rips and delighting in the shudder of the Doctor before she swept herself away from where the Doctor needed her to be and smirked at her second whine. She wanted to hear her say what she wanted, come back at her with the sassy attitude she knew was lurking under the surface. Yaz remained still, looking at the Doctor with expectant eyes, drawing out the torture of not being touched for as long as she could. Legs twisted and turned underneath her, only making her smirk wider until the Doctor threw her head back and groaned loudly as she shook her arms against the handcuffs.

“Yaaaaaaz.”

“Yes, Doctor?”

Another groan, another twist against her, and then the Doctor was looking at her. Hazel-green eyes were now nearly black, face burning up more than ever. The Doctor pouted, whined again in the back of her throat, torso twitching as she tried to hold back the evident neediness pouring from her. Deciding to be nice to her - just this once - Yaz playfully rolled her eyes and moved her hands so she groped both of the Doctor’s breasts in her palms and watched her melt. She was definitely soft. They fit into her hands perfectly, nipples pebbling underneath her as she ran her thumbs back and forth over them. Yaz leant forward again, head tilted to one side as the Doctor closed her eyes and let her head fall back in apparent ecstacy. God, she was a delight to all the senses. As Yaz applied more pressure with her hands, she captured her lips again, moving slow and savouring the taste of the Time Lord underneath her. Taking her lower lip between her teeth as she moved back, Yaz began to lay more kisses down the Doctor’s neck until she was peppering them over her left shoulder and then across her chest. She let one hand fall away to wrap around the Doctor’s lower back, letting her nails press into her skin as her kisses moved lower and lower until her breath was trailing over a nipple.

“Do you want me?”

The Doctor arched her back, leaving Yaz to crane her head back and deny her the touch she had been goading for, resulting in a moan as her hands squeezed her right breast again.

“Please. Please ju-”

Her words were cut off the moment Yaz wrapped her lips around her and let her tongue roll over her skin, taking the air from the Doctor’s lungs as she keened into the touch hard. It was if electricity and fire were spiraling around in every atom at the point Yaz started and she ended. She pulled against the cuffs again, cursing under her breath as she felt teeth pull over her skin briefly and Yaz’s finger and thumb start to mimic the strokes of her tongue. There was even more burning starting to rise from the pit of her stomach, spreading throughout her body like the starts of a collapsing star. Her body was on fire, her remaining clothes felt like chains around her, nevermind the weight of Yaz on top of her preventing any chance at trying to provide some much needed pressure between her legs. She tried to canter her hips, just about jolting Yaz in the process, but all it served was for her tongue and fingers to swap, warmth now enveloping her right nipple and sending another shockwave of pleasure throughout her body. Oh, she knew exactly where she wanted Yaz to be - where she wanted her mouth to be, more precisely - and the thought was enough to have her moaning and whining with a renewed vigor. Yaz hummed into her skin, pleased with her work as she let go of the Doctor and changed her position. She shifts her legs apart at the knee with her own, settling herself down between them and shifting just enough so that she's leering over the Doctor. Her once pale skin had completely flushed, eyes wide and staring at her as she pressed her teeth down hard into her lower lip. It was quite a sight, one that would be permanently etched into her memory. A smirk tugged at her lips as she trailed the fingers of one hand down the Doctor's stomach, gently easing them below her shorts, but pausing just long enough to hear her groan and watch her arch away from the stairs to try and get relief. Yaz simply tutted at her.

"What do you say, Doctor? Tell me exactly what you want."

“I...I want....”

“That’s it. Come on. What do you need, Doctor? Let me help you.”

Practically mewling with want and desire, the Doctor tugged hard at the cuffs and tried to straighten her back out to lean over and look imposing. All it served was to make her look like a frustrated caged animal, that made Yaz smile with mischief and mirth.

“Touch me.”

“With pleasure, _kitten_.”

Neither of them knew where those words had come from, and yet neither of them cared. Yaz was too busy sliding further into the Doctor’s shorts and dragging her fingers through slick heat, while the Doctor’s head and eyes had rolled back as she finally received the touch she had been craving for so long. Sure, it was clumsy and awkward with how tight her trousers and underwear were, but it didn’t matter at all. Yaz let her weight rest on her free hand as she moved her fingers up through the wetness to catch hold of a very exposed bump in her path. Either the Doctor was worked up already, or, she had seriously enjoyed her interjection. Yaz pushed herself down deeper after she rolled her two fingers over the Doctor’s clit in long slow circles, gathering up as much arousal as she could before she started carefully dart one finger between the Doctor’s folds and tease her entrance. The Doctor’s hips twitched and twisted every time Yaz teased her, and felt her hearts pounding in her chest quicktime as it became harder and harder to breathe. Thank the stars for the respiratory bypass system, the world was starting to choke and starve her as everything started to burn hotter and brighter as Yaz started to stroke her clit again with the pad of her thumb. The rhythm was so agonisingly slow at first, but the more noise she made, the faster Yaz moved. Finally, oh finally, Yaz slid her index finger deep within the Doctor, and she near screamed at the satisfaction it brought her. It was better than anything she had felt in countless years, especially as she felt Yaz draw ever closer and breathe hot air across her face as she panted in time with her. All she could hear was her, her hearts, and the sound of wet fingers burying themselves and curling so deep she thought everything was about to explode.

"Y-Yaz...I'm...I'm gonna...ah...I'm…"

She could feel her insides burning, like she was teetering on the cusp of regeneration. Everything was white hot and she was so close, it pained her to say so. She could taste the sweet climax, but it never came. She felt slick fingers pull out from inside her, leaving her aching and whining as she pleaded with her eyes to Yaz to finally - finally - give her the release she had been so close to coming to. Except it wasn't that easy. It never was when Yaz took the reins. But all she got was a sly grin before perfectly pristine teeth tugged at her neck again and drew out an almost painful moan from the Doctor as tears stung the corners of her eyes and the burning only grew wilder. As molten kisses danced over the soon to be blossoming bruises, the Doctor heard Yaz sigh against her neck.

"You're such a good girl, Doctor. Keeping yourself on edge for me like this. I know you desperately want to come, but this is too much fun. Say please, and maybe I'll let you."

Why was begging always a thing? Sadly, the Doctor didn't have the brain power left to even contemplate the thought, the only thing inside her mind dedicating itself to giving over whatever it was that Yaz wanted. She was desperate, frantically so, and if the multitude of garbled pleases didn't show that, then the Doctor was entirely at a loss.

"Please, please, please, please, please!"

“As you wish.”

With a kiss to her cheek, Yaz fully moved away from her, wrapping her fingers around the top of her trousers and her underwear. With both in hand, she dragged both items of clothing over the Doctor’s thighs, smiling as she watched her widen her legs so that Yaz had better access. Soon enough, both items were pushed to one side, and yaz practically crawled between the Doctor’s legs. Her lips painted every part of her skin she could get a hold of, hands following suit, the Doctor’s breathing reaching a higher pitch the further she travelled. Soon enough, warm air felt like blazing lava against her skin as Yaz pressed a kiss to the top of her pubic bone. Two fingers slipped back inside and curled upwards so beautifully, that the Doctor almost forgot where they were or who they were even. Nails dug into the palms of her own hands as she tugged at the cuffs that bound her, anything to ground her and stop her from falling away entirely. There was nothing the Doctor could do to stop the veritable torrent of ecstasy that flowed through her as Yaz started to drag her tongue over her. She lapped at her like she was the only source of nourishment for miles, and yet somehow took her time to memorise every part of her that drew out the longest sounds.

“Y-yaz...Yaz, Yaz, Yaz.”

Her name was the only matra on her lips as fingers and tongue worked her closer and closer to the edge. Everything was coming together, while the Doctor was losing herself with every second. Her mouth dropped as she moaned and thrust her hips in time with Yaz’s strokes, chasing every moment of ecstasy she knew was rapidly approaching the end. Then, before she could recognise it was happening, she felt the burning in her stomach explode into fireworks. If only regeneration could feel as glorious as the sparks and flashes her body was producing did then. Yaz dutifully powered through her climax, fingers and tongue working in unison to draw out a sudden and intense encore, one the Doctor physically had to remove herself from in order to recover from the resounding aftershocks and tremors that wracked her body so. And through it all, through hazy and tear streaked eyes, she looked down to see the most infuriatingly alluring and devious smile to ever grace Yaz's face turned right towards her. Despite the low light of the TARDIS, she could see the shimmer on her skin, and if the Doctor could have been turned on again she would have been. The sight was enough to make her whine and gesture with her shoulders for Yaz to make her way up towards her.

When she came close enough, the Doctor craned her neck and took hold of her lips feverishly, forcing her tongue into Yaz’s mouth and groaning at the taste of herself on her skin. If she could taste any sweeter...it wasn’t possible. Yaz was the one to break the kiss laughing, shaking her head slightly at how needy the Doctor was in that moment.

“You alright there?”

“Gods Yaz, you...I...you taste amazing. Sorry. Couldn’t help myself. I needed to touch you somehow. Do you...do you think you could let me out now? Maybe come for a shower with me?”  
  


Fishing around inside the pocket of her uniform, Yaz pulled out a small silver key and leant behind the Doctor. She fumbled around for a moment before the lock finally clicked open and she could slide the thick device from around her wrists. The Doctor’s arms dropped comedically onto the steps, but were soon brought around into her lap as she watched Yaz sit back down beside her.

“I’d like that. I’ll grab your clothes, you focus on trying to stand up.”

“Thanks. Kinda feel like jelly now. That was...something else.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself, Doctor. Maybe we should do this again sometime.”


	5. I'm Gonna Give You What You Want

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diseased birds, teleportation to a stolen submarine, and an inate desire to vie for the Doctor's attention. Despite being without reward, and on the receiving end of verbose critisism, Yaz in unprepared for when the Doctor gives her undivided attention to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I get a wahoo for finally finishing one of my WIPs finally?  
> We are so far away from s12 now that I'm half wondering if this should continue as a series...  
> But, there's only a couple of episodes left, I can work with that.  
> Either way, I hope this is worth the godforsaken wait.
> 
> (Song Inspiration: Tigerlily - La Roux)

Technically speaking, Yaz had no idea what had just happened the last few days. Not a clue. It had all gone by in such a blur - such chaos - that nothing had actually registered in her head. Even after leaving off with Gabriela, Adam and Jake, it all felt like a fever dream. Alien diseases. Rockets. Globe trotting. Deadly birds. Was she holding a gun at one point? Did she really leap through a teleporter like that? That wasn't even where her brain held off with the constant overload of information. Flickering back and forth inside her head was every interaction with the Doctor. Every moment played back on a loop, like a broken and static filled recording. Images hissed and buzzed, crackled, made the corners of her eyes sting as she felt waves of emotion cascade through her. Anger. Upset. Contempt. Desire. Too much, too soon. She was so lost in her own little world that she completely forgot who she was currently sharing it with. Her footsteps carried her so far into the TARDIS, that her stupor was only broken as she collided straight into Ryan without even blinking. The pair of them stumbled forward, Ryan barely catching his balance against the console before twisting around and gesturing over towards Yaz. The scene even made Graham and the Doctor pause, both staring wide eyed in confusion.

"Hey, Yaz. You okay over there? How'd you zone out so bad you'd leave me close to breaking an arm? S'not like you. I'm not that hard to miss."

The words reached her ears, swam around in her brain for what felt like an eternity of her just blankly staring into the room, before Yaz shook her head and came around to the commotion she had caused.

"Ryan! Sorry. I just...I didn't…"

How could she even begin to explain what was going on inside her head? All she could see was the Doctor, bathed in neon pink light, standing inside the TARDIS as she walked away. She needed to go away, be alone, come to terms with whatever her brain was trying to get her to understand. Instead of finishing her sentence, she shook her head and walked away. Nobody made a sound or moved as she made her way up the steps and down through the corridor. Yaz knew that the Doctor fully intended to drop them off home again after the trip, it was pretty much a given at this point, but she wasn't going to go home. No, the plan was to spend the one night of respite with Ryan and Graham. If she could even manage to get out of her thoughts first. The more she walked, the more she could feel the TARDIS trying to get a word in. Not that she would let that happen. When Yaz finally made it to her room, she quickly shut the door behind her and made her way over towards the bed. After dropping down and burying her face into the pillows, she let out a muffled groan and let herself be enveloped by the soft and floral scented sheets. She knew what was happening. It was something she had been trying to avoid for so long, but the grip she had on her own sense of self was so loose now, that everything had gotten completely out of hand.

What had she been thinking?

* * *

The TARDIS juddered ever so slightly as it landed outside of Graham's house, the doors opening slowly out into the world. Compared to the heat of Madagascar and Peru, the chill spring air of Sheffield was a serious change of pace. Ryan and Graham lingered around the doors, watching the Doctor bounce up and down on the spot, riddled with nervous energy for miles. Considering that the TARDIS was very good at making landings known, the lack of Yaz in the console room was starting to unsettle everyone there. Thankfully, the tense air was broken by the Doctor twisting around and pointing towards the hallway.

"Listen, you two go on. I'll go get Yaz. If anything, I think she needs this night off more than the pair of you put together. Maybe she'll talk to you."

"Alright Doc. Just...be gentle with her. She's had a time of all this. Hopefully we'll see you in a bit. Come on Ryan, let's go out the kettle on. Might do us all some good."

The three shared a wave before the Doctor bounded off into the TARDIS. It was easy to find Yaz's room - two lefts, one right, another left - but she found herself skidding to a sudden stop as she rounded the first left and almost did the exact same thing Yaz had done to Ryan. Only the mad flailing of her arms even alerted her companion to her presence. Once again, she looked lost in her own little world. Far be it from the Doctor to interfere with anything to do with her companions emotional well-being, something about the way Yaz was acting was rubbing her up the wrong way and she couldn't quite work out why. She knew of course why on paper, she had been impetuous and reckless, but there was something on the tip of her tongue and buried in her bones that made her think something else was amiss as well. However, the Doctor kept her aces very close to her chest, and simply smiled at Yaz with the same wide eyed joy she always did.

"There you are! Boys have already gone off back home. You gonna go join them?"

Yaz blinked slowly in response, as if contemplating her choice of words, before bidding equally slow in response and shifting quietly past the Doctor.

"Y-yeah. Sorry. Think I nodded off a little bit. Didn't realise we'd got back already."

Both of them walked back through the corridor and down the steps, the Doctor's eyes lifting to the ceiling briefly before she hung back and lingered near one of the crystal columns. By the time Yaz made it just shy of the doors, the Doctor called out flatly.

"Tired out from all that thrill seeking I guess?"

Crossing her arms over her chest, the Doctor waits for Yaz to stop. She watched her instantly flinch and tense up, body falling statuesque. Wherever her thoughts were taking her, was apparently right. A thick and awkward silence fell over the room, only broken by the sound of the Doctor's boots against the metal floor. As Yaz slowly began to turn around, her eyes trained to the floor, the Doctor untucked and raised one hand. With a snap of her fingers, the doors of the TARDIS came to a sudden close, which made Yaz lift her eyes and drop her mouth in an attempt to talk. No words came out. Nothing except a breath of air.

The Doctor sighed, pinching her brow between the fingers that just closed the doors. One foot tapped against the floor as she huffed and groaned. She hated talking about feelings. About the safety of her companions. It was bad enough constantly being reminded of their fragility but this...this was something else. Yaz was something else. Something that needed nipping in the bud before the chimes of death's door came calling her way once again. No more losing companions. Not again..she swore to herself as much.

"Yaz...just answer me this. Why?"

_ Oh. _

For some reason, Yaz had been hoping - praying even - that the Doctor wasn't going to bring any of it up. She just wanted to pretend the day had never happened, box up her thoughts and just carry on with her life. Then again, could she really have expected the Doctor to not bring it up after the bitten tone of her quips back? She closed her mouth, wanted to turn her eyes back to the floor but she couldn't find the strength. Instead, she gave in to the harsh stare of hazel-green eyes practically begging her to talk.

"I don't know…"

Her words were muttered, felt heavy as lead on her tongue and bitter in her throat. She had spent the last twenty minutes trying to figure things out, and the answer she had come to wasn't anything she wanted to admit to anytime soon. To her chagrin, the Doctor didn't care for her answer. Her arms flew into the air as she groaned and set a pace walking back and forth in front of her.

"How can you not know?! You're seriously telling me that you don't know why you just suddenly decided to be a showoff today? Really, Yaz? Come on, don't make me look stupid. I'm not mad, I promise. Just...please...please, I need to understand what's going on here."

When the Doctor paused her pacing, Yaz realised she had never seen her look so tired. Or exasperated. Or concerned. Only then did it occur to her what exactly had happened. How much she had hurt her with her actions. That scared her more than the realisation she had come to, and it almost broke her heart.

"I wanted you to notice me…"

Silence fell over the room again as her voice croaked in a hoarse whisper. The Doctor tilted her head to one side, took a few steps closer, brows knitted together.

"Beg your pardon?"

Yaz swallowed all of her pride, closed her eyes, and forced the words out before they could suffocate her.

"I wanted you to notice me!"

Each step the Doctor took made her flinch, made her unwilling to open her eyes, until she felt the pressure of another person so deeply into her personal space that she couldn't handle it anymore. Yaz opened her eyes wide, breath caught in her throat as the Doctor stared at her with an expression she had never seen before. What she didn't expect was for the Doctor to start moving again. Closer. So close. So close that Yaz had to take a step back. Then another. She kept going backwards until she felt the gentle slope towards the TARDIS doors, and a few steps later her jacket brushing against the wood. The air was charged with something unmistakably foreign and dangerous. Yaz could feel her heart pounding harder and harder in her chest the longer the Doctor bore into her.

"Is that what all this was about today? All your running about, throwing yourself into danger, dancing with death?"

Yaz nodded slowly.

"You just wanted to get my attention? To get me to tell you how good you are? How utterly brilliant and delightful and charming and special you are?"

That was a lot more than she had expected; where had that come from? All she could do though was quietly reply.

"Y-yes."

For a moment, Yaz wondered if the Doctor was going to walk away and just leave her backed up against the doors of the TARDIS. She had every right to, really, even if the thought filled her with abject horror and disgust at herself. Except the expression in the Doctor's eyes changed again - darkened considerably - and soon a smile was just tugging at the corners of her lips as she strode closer still and leant in just shy of their lips brushing.

"Then you're going to have to prove just how much of a good girl you are, Yaz."

In that one second, everything changed, and Yaz found herself following the Doctor blindly through the TARDIS. It was like she was on autopilot, like some switch had just been flicked inside her head and she couldn’t control what was happening. Of course, she could, she just subconsciously chose not to under the circumstances. She knew where she was being led, all the twists and turns of the hallway pointed to one direction. She was going back to her room. If the powerful swing to the Doctor’s arm and her firm stride were anything to go by, she was in for an interesting time. Again, she could feel the crackle of something in the air. The same thing had happened a few times in the day already, except yaz didn’t have the whereforeall to put a name on it. Now she did. She knew what it was. The desire between the two of them had split, the red thread of fate that bound them together now trailing in tatters across the floor and being left behind as a firm grim to her arm pushed her through the doorway. When the door closed behind the Doctor, Yaz finally let out the breath she had been holding inside, feeling her head start to spin as she watched the Time Lord move straight past her towards the bed. She sat down and started to undo the laces of her boots, toeing them off and kicking them to one side before shrugging the pale coat from her shoulders.

Yaz stood in the middle of her room, dazed and confused, only snapping back to attention when she heard the Doctor call her over and tap the bed. Swallowing hard, she did as instructed, sitting down beside the Time Lord and finding it difficult to hold her gaze. Another few words were spoken - taking off her trainers - and without any kind of response, Yaz followed the request. Instead of untying her laces like the Doctor did, she simply tugged the battered footwear from her feet and pushed them to one side. Once she had done, there was a soft pressure against her shoulder, the Doctor urging her further down the bed. It was any wonder she knew what she was doing with just the physical encouragement, but in the end she was soon laid down in the middle of her bed, staring up at the Doctor as she propped herself up on one elbow next to her. She could see the dark shade over her eyes and the blush creeping across her cheeks, causing a rapid flush to burn her up from the inside.

“Now. Right now. You’re going to listen to everything I say. No talking back, no sass, nothing. I don’t want to hear a word out of you. If you are going to talk, you’re only allowed to say one of these things; green for good, amber for wait, red for stop. Do you understand that, Yaz?”

“Ye-”

The Doctor raised an eyebrow as she started her reply, and yaz quickly shut her mouth and felt the burning grow even wilder. How could such a small thing have such an effect on her, and since when was she one for following rules? It certainly didn’t help that the Doctor was talking so matter-of-factly about it all and looked so blasé. Instead, she nodded her head twice, feeling a strange hit of relief as the Doctor smiled at her. She lifted a hand and stroked the top of her head, coming down to cup her cheek and brush her thumb across her cheekbone.

“Good girl.”

Those two words were all Yaz needed to hear. Her mouth dropped slightly as her eyes fluttered closed and she let out a quiet sigh. The Doctor leant down, moved her hand away and kissed the spot where her thumb had once been. She didn’t stop at just one, or stay in the same spot, and Yaz found herself bemoaning the fact that she wasn’t being kissed properly. Instead, the Doctor was working her way across her jaw and up to her ear, and Yaz could feel her smiling. It was intoxicating. Feeling her breath against her skin, the gentle roughness of her lips, how her teeth knew exactly where to graze against her in order for her breath to hitch. She tilted her head to the side, giving the Doctor more room to move and she received a pleased hum in response. Her hand had moved down to rest against her knee and she squeezed it gently. A game was definitely being played with her, but Yaz didn’t care at all. She relished in it. The way the Doctor was just slow enough to drive her to distraction with each kiss she lay across her skin, how her hand slowly started to shift up across her thigh as her fingers started to draw patterns against the denim.

“How do you feel?”

“G-gre-en.”

“Mmm, sit up for me then.”

Her arms felt like dead weights as she tried to shift herself into a sitting position. Thankfully, the Doctor was a step ahead of her. She was up like a shot, leaving her hand against her thigh as she used the other to push her up by the shoulders. As Yaz stared into the endless depths of her hazel-green eyes, she watched as the Doctor licked her lips slowly before gesturing towards her leather jacket. Yaz opened her mouth to question - again - but quickly stopped herself. It was almost childish, really, how embarrassed she felt trying to talk out of turn. And yet, the Doctor was delighted by how she stumbled and almost fell right into the devious trap. She quietly tutted under her breath, finally moving the hand from her thigh so that both of them were wrapped around the lapels of her jacket. Yaz freely allowed her to take it from her shoulders and down her arms, bristling with anticipation as she heard it crumble to the floor.

“Better. Down you go.”

All it took for her to drop down onto the sheets was a nudge to her sternum, Yaz willingly giving over to the Doctor and swallowing dryly as she positioned herself between her legs and leant over her again. Wisps of blonde hair tickled her cheeks, lips still dangerously close to her own but never giving her what she wanted. Would it break the rules if she tried to reach out? The only thing she couldn’t do was talk. Yaz chanced it anyway. Although, no sooner had she craned her neck, did the Doctor shift back entirely to sit in the back of her calves and shake her head.

“Yasmin Khan, do I have to put a second rule in place for you to follow? Here’s me thinking you’d get the message, but it seems like bad girls really don’t know when to quit.”

“I-”

Her words were cut off with a finger pressed firmly against her lips. The Doctor sighed, leaning back in so close that their noses brushed and she could feel the weight of her words burn into her skin.

“Rule one, no talking. Rule two, no touching. You’ll wait your turn, until I say so. Do you understand me?”

As she dragged the single digit down her lips, taking the bottom against the pad of her finger as Yaz let out a shaky exhalation, all she could do was mumble a single ‘green’ as the Doctor’s face lit up like a child on christmas morning. It was then - and only then - that Yaz finally got her wish. Suddenly, her lips were on hers, taking away the rest of the air in her lungs as two hands kept balance against her shoulders. It was as if both heaven and hell had collided against her, hot and cold, love and lust. The Doctor was relentless in her assault, sweeping all logic from her mind as her tongue moved to take every drop of her resolve. Yaz groaned into the kiss, hands digging deep into her bed sheets as she held in every desire to grab hold of the Doctor’s face and try to wrestle control back to her side of the field. She didn’t stand a chance either way.

The Doctor’s teeth sank into her lower lip, causing her back to arch and a strange amalgamation of a gasp and a whine to come out involuntarily. All it did was make the Doctor hum as her lips moved to leave searing trails against the side of her jaw and down the tense slope of her neck. She did not stop, did not pause, instead the Doctor merely continued to travel south and lavish unending attention across all the exposed skin she could find. It was practically killing Yaz to keep her hands knotted into the sheets, especially when the Doctor started to nip and tease the skin at the bottom of her throat. Her hands moved almost as quickly as her lips did, and Yaz could do little more than gasp and groan as she felt nimble fingers tousle the buttons of her shirt undone. The paper thin and silken fabric was clinging to her sweat sheened skin, the Doctor peeling it away to reveal her red bra underneath. The sight seemed to throw the Doctor off her course, so much so that Yaz once again found herself staring into hazed hazel-green eyes.

“Are you really that desperate for me to notice you, Yaz? You even dressed up for me?”

With a frustrated whine, Yaz closed her eyes and felt her face burn with a new wave of heat. In actuality, she had forgotten what she had chosen to wear, although if the Doctor was entranced by her bra...she daren’t think about it. It was too much to bear. When she felt cool hands caress the sides of her waist, she bit down on her lip to stifle the upcoming sound, back arching enough for the Doctor to skim up her spine and wrestle free the hooks on her bra.

“Up.”

A one word command, and Yaz was sitting upright again, transfixed to the spot as she watched the Doctor gently slide the shirt sleeves from her arms and do the same for the straps of her bra. While the printed blouse continued to rest underneath her, the bra was dropped to the floor and Yaz quickly lowered herself back down as the Doctor pushed up close and went back to ravishing her throat.

“Do you have any idea how reckless you’ve been today Yaz? Any idea how much easier it would have been just to _listen_ to me?”

Her words were hot against her already blazing skin, shifting lower and lower until they were twisted against her heart. Whilst the Doctor kept herself balanced on one hand, the other drew lines down her waist with short nails. Yaz shuffled awkwardly against the bed, barely managing to keep her eyes trained on the Time Lord as she chuckled low in her throat and blonde hair shifted to one side.

“Then again, this is what you wanted, wasn’t it? Some sordid mix of praise and punishment. Me towing the lines between saying how much I hated what you did, but also…”

Yaz whined as warm air was blown across one of her nipples, a strange tingling sensation bubbling up from the pit of her stomach in anticipation for whatever was about to come next.

“How much I’m secretly impressed with your involvement today.”

The Doctor punctuated her sentence by wrapping her lips around the slowly erecting nipple and swirling her tongue across the highly sensitive skin. Yaz’s eyes quickly closed as she arched into the contact, mouth dropping as she succumbed to the pleasure flooding her senses. The Doctor is both wild and considered with the strokes of her tongue and the touch of her lips, either somehow completely in tune with her body's reactions or completely winging her way through. Either way, Yaz found herself struggling how to think and focus on her breathing, nevermind processing how the Doctor’s right hand came to join in and tease her other breast between her fingers and palm. There was a slight reprieve when contact was broken so that the Doctor could coo to her again.

“Going through that teleport was idiotic genius. Colour?”

Yaz could barely whisper a response as she felt the Doctor pinch her nipple between finger and thumb.

“G-green.”

She tried her luck by groping and flicking harder, though it was quickly apparent that was not the way to go about the encounter.

“Amber!”

The Doctor gave pause then, moving her hand away and peppering kisses across Yaz’s right breast while mumbling barely there apologies.

“Good girl…”

If this was what it felt like to be under the scrutiny of the Doctor, then Yaz pondered that it certainly wasn’t the worst possible outcome for the day. The Doctor swapped the attention between fingers and tongue, drawing out moan after melodical moan from Yaz as she settled on a set pattern of strokes. She let her hand wander away from her breast, dragging her fingers down across her stomach, drawing circles there and gradually making her way lower still. So lost in the heady daze of the Doctor’s mouth was she, that Yaz barely even registered the fact that she had made light work of the button on her jeans and was gradually inching one side down across her hip. Only when she pulled away again to kiss her deep, could she tell that the other side of her jeans was being wrestled with. Knuckles grazed her hipbone as tight denim came over the soft and plush curve of her thigh and opened her up further to the world. That was besides the point. The Doctor tasted of fire and longing, her body almost enveloping her in protective possession. Nothing else in the universe mattered anymore, not her petty desire for attention, although certainly the friction forming was starting to become a burning issue.

They finally parted, both breathing out of sync, eyes wide and hungry as Yaz felt the distinct creep of the Doctor’s fingers fall lower than the now open fly of her jeans.

“Do I think you deserve this? To get me where you’ve wanted me all day. To have me touch you, finally? Tell me _why_ I should give you this, Yaz.”

Opening her mouth, Yaz paused. There were rules in place. It had to be a trick question. The Doctor surely wasn’t about to give her something for insubordination. Although, she had to completely discount the fact she was currently very deep in doing such a thing. Quirking an eyebrow, she studied the Doctor’s expression before closing her mouth again and practically challenged the Time Lord’s resolve. Her guess of the bluff paid off, and the Doctor all but smirked wide at her as she leant in again and spoke against her lips.

“Now that’s a clever girl.”

The following moan that came as the Doctor slid her fingers between slick heat was swallowed up entirely by eager lips and lost between them. Far be it from the Doctor to ever be caught off guard - or surprised - but the clearly intense reaction she had drawn out from Yaz actually put a crack to her facade. She whined in a break between the kiss, shuddered as she drew her index finger across Yaz’s clit, and cursed the stars in the sky as her hips keened to her touch. However, her moment of laxity was quickly tamed and she was back in her authoritarian stride of unequivocal control. She positioned herself then back beside Yaz’s ear, mind awash with the sounds of her breathing and noting each little change in her cadence.

“Did you plan all this out, Yaz? Did you dream of having me here like this? Did you think of me as you threw yourself into the great unknown and risked it all for just a moment of my attention?”

Despite the almost unbearably close quarters, what with the Doctor’s mobility heavily restricted by the unforgiving lace of her underwear, she was drawing Yaz so close to the edge that it almost pained her. Her eyes screwed tight as her hands dug deeper into the sheets, whines flowing higher and higher-

Then everything stopped.

Yaz almost cried out at the loss of contact, scrambling to lean up on her elbows, until she caught the flash of a toothy grin and the sight of the Doctor shifting further down the bed. Her hand came free from its nestled home, fingers laced with her arousal, and yet the Doctor merely moved to drag her jeans further down her legs until she could toss them into the wide unknown space outside the intimate circle of the bed. Then, and only then, could she truly appreciate the effort that had gone into Yaz’s possible preparation. The last item of clothing she had to peel away was a pair of deep crimson lace bikini cut pants. It wasn’t until those had been removed as well, and her legs parted, that Yaz heard the rasping husk of the Doctor again, tempting her to tremble.

“I didn’t say you could finish yet.”

The Doctor settled between her legs, still pushing her knees further apart until Yaz was sure the whole world could see what was happening. Still, she was easily settled by the creep and crawl of fingers against her inner thighs, how they brushed over the faded lines of her growth, and parted the seas of her very soul so that the Doctor could draw her fingers between her folds again. Again, she keened, and again she tried to close her eyes, but she was stopped by a couple of tuts and a stilling of movement.

“Watch me.”

How could she resist?

Forcing her eyes open, Yaz lifted her shoulders and tilted her head down just so she could comply with the Doctor’s wishes. Her smile persisted as she kept her eyes locked so deeply with her own - hazel-green and brown together in a fierce competition of wills - and there was no pause before her fingers started to slowly draw circles over her clit again. Considering the tension already burning it the pit of her stomach, the coil winding ever tighter, it was beyond torture to be stuck silently begging for more. Although, the Doctor seemed to have something else in mind entirely. She drew her hand away for a moment, eyes briefly darting to her slick fingers, before she realigned herself with Yaz and hummed at the choked gasp that resounded as she gently pressed them further down and deeper.

“Is this what you want?”

“G-gre-EN!”

There was a sudden hit of burning and stretching, followed by the most intense wave of pleasure Yaz had experienced in her life. Both of the Doctor’s two fingers had pushed through the boundaries of her walls, made themselves at home in the slick burning heat, and curled upwards at just the right spot for all the air to be forcefully pushed out of her lungs. Her mouth dropped, tongue lolling almost comically as the Doctor hummed again and slowly withdrew them from knuckle deep to somewhere more tantalizing. Except, the reprieve lasted barely a second, before the Doctor was lowering herself down to gain enough purchase in her forearm to drive them back inside and crook again so that Yaz almost entirely broke their predesignated rule of eye contact. She was toying with her, she had to be, there was no way that she was unaware that the deep angled thrusts were sending her spiralling back to the precipice of sweet release. The hunger that Yaz saw in the Doctor’s eyes as she effortlessly and perfectly timed each hit was unlike anything she had ever witnessed, and wondered if she ever would again. Her hips started to rock in time with her thrusts, a stray tear stinging the corner of her left eye as she felt her voice rising higher and higher again. Just the faintest brush of the Doctor’s palm against her clit was what she needed...and what she never got.

“Green, green green…”

The words tumbled from her lips like a bastardised prayer, muttered underneath needy whines.

Moments away from the coil snapping, the Doctor stopped moving. She stopped mid thrust, an eyebrow raised in quiet contemplation as Yaz all but threw her head back in resigned frustration. How long was she planning on toying with her? Was this really what she deserved after the day they had? Probably.

“I still didn’t say you could finish, Yaz.”

She wanted to curse the Doctor’s name as loud as she could, though without the ability to speak she settled for throwing her head back down and shooting the most infuriated glare she could. All it did was make the Doctor laugh quietly to herself, fingers twitching inside her with anticipation.

“How’re you feeling, Yaz? Hmm? Are you feeling upset yet? Frustrated? Angry? Do you want to yell at me some more, snip at me, like you’ve already done several times today? Do you honestly think you deserve to come after everything you’ve put me through?”

“I-”

Yaz didn’t think, didn’t realise that part of a retort was about to come out of her mouth, at least not until the Doctor shook her head and let out an almost weary sigh. Despite the thick, bristling tension in the room - inside her right that second - something seemed to quickly change in the Doctor’s demeanour as she braced herself flush against the bed and breathed against her skin.

“I’m just a fool for you…”

Any possible comeback to the heart wrenching words were stolen from her as Yaz lost all of her senses to the feeling of the Doctor’s tongue sliding over her. Her body instantly left the bed, clamouring for the needy and almost desperate touch following. Fingers started to twist and turn in and out at the same punishing pace, her clit being lavished with long and frantic strokes in tandem. Contrary to every remaining sense in her body, Yaz couldn’t tear her eyes away. She watched as the Doctor threw every ounce of her being into pleasuring her, groaning in time with her, concentration never wavering for a beat of a second. It was rough, messy, entirely uncontrolled and Yaz loved every second of it. Throwing all caution to the wind, and damning any possible comeback for her actions, Yaz let go of the sheets and threaded both of her hands into the Doctor’s hair and clung to her for dear life. Her nails dragged across her scalp, drawing out a guttural moan that vibrated through her very being, which all but tore away any shred of resolve that Yaz had left to hold on. With a high pitched gasp, her body jutted upwards and grew taught, knees closing in on themselves and around the Doctor’s head as she felt the pressure finally release. Through every heady wave of pleasure, the Doctor continued on and on, practically devouring every second of the orgasm that rolled through her and pulsed around her fingers. When Yaz finally fell slack, with a long exhale, she finally stopped. Fingers slid away without any problem, her jaw falling slack as she watched with new eyes how drained Yaz was. Her body was flushed and burning, her breathing low and shallow. She looked weak.

It scared her.

Without a word, the Doctor hastily wiped her fingers across the bedsheets and cleaned her lips against the sleeve of her coat. A very large part of her wanted to flee, to leave Yaz in her hazed bliss, leave her with something positive. And yet, she couldn’t move. Reclining onto the backs of her legs, still sat between Yaz’s own, she merely watched. Waited. Tried to silence the sudden cacophony of noise inside her head. Everything was loud, painful, too much too soon. Everything around her faded into obscured tunnel vision, into the dark of the room, the only noise and light coming from flashes of memory. The Doctor had no idea how much time had passed or how long she had been zoned out for, and by the time she came around again, Yaz was somehow sitting in front of her. Her hands were cradled around her face and...they felt wet. Why were they wet? Why were Yaz’s eyes shimmering?

“Doctor?”

Muffled, she could barely hear with the ringing in her ears and the pain in her jaw and the burning in her eyes.

“Doctor? Doctor, what’s wrong?”

Clearer this time, but still not enough. She could hear something else, something in the background of the muddled question. Something wet and painful.

“Doctor? Doctor, please...please don’t cry…”

Crying? Who was-

Oh.

That was it. She was done. Tears streamed down her face at a rapid pace, and the Doctor could barely breathe between the croaked sobs bursting from her chest. She was crying. She could also barely breathe. The hands that were pressed against her cheeks quickly moved as strong and stable arms enveloped her tightly. The Doctor pressed her face into the crook of Yaz’s neck and cried. Between each breath, she tried to talk, as best she could, but doubted the legitimacy of anything she was saying. Words flew out without any consideration, and she barely registered them between the soft shushing of Yaz in her ear. More time passed, and eventually things began to calm down. The Doctor’s nonsensical ramblings died down to a muted babble against Yaz’s neck, and the hands around her slowly started to rub circles against her shoulders and lower back. Yaz felt tears start to pool in her own eyes, but fought them back in an attempt to not throw the Doctor into a second round of whatever spiral she had fallen into.

“...lose you.”

“Doctor?”

Puffy and red ringed eyes came to look back at Yaz as the Doctor shuffled slightly out of her grasp, fingers digging terribly into her back.

“I thought...I was...going to lose you...Yaz. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry...this...all this...I’m...”

Her words were cut off by several kisses against her wet cheeks and dry lips, Yaz looking back at her with such adoration that she thought she might cry again. What had she done to deserve such a wonderful person in her life? Except...what she had just done…

“Doctor, I’m the one who should be apologising.”

Yaz disentangled herself from the Doctor, moving across to the other side of the bed and laying down. She pushed her remaining dregs of clothes off to the floor, patting the now vacant spot and gently urging the Doctor to lie down as well. It took a few moments of staring, but eventually she did, sniffling and trying to hide her face in the puckered opening of her coat. Yaz gently took hold of her face, stilling it.

“I’m sorry for today. I’m sorry for running off, I’m sorry for back-talking you...I’m sorry I scared you so much. I was too busy thinking about myself and what I wanted...that I didn’t take any time to think about how you were feeling. I didn’t think that I was putting myself in danger...I didn’t realise I was being so selfish. I should have seen you were hurt, and I won’t do anything like that ever again.”

Eventually, after what felt like several lifetimes for Yaz, the Doctor shook her head and the corners of her mouth turned up into a weak smile. She let out a shallow sigh and raised a hand to press against the one holding her face.

“Your bravery...your willingness to help...your intelligence and your drive...they’re why you’re so special, Yaz. They’re the best bits of humanity and you embody them all. Life with me...on the TARDIS...it’s so dangerous...and I’ve lost so many people...I don’t want to lose you too…”

Yaz leant in closer and placed another kiss to the Doctor’s lips, lingering briefly before pulling away and smiling back to her.

“Do you want to stay here tonight?”

“Y-yes please…”

“Let’s go get some pyjamas then. You won’t lose me, Doctor. I’m not going anywhere.”

The weight of her words were either lost on Yaz, or she didn’t care for them in that moment, but as the Doctor followed her off the bed and towards the wardrobe, they certainly weren’t lost on her. It wasn’t a promise - which made a change - but still...the Doctor couldn’t bear the thought of those words coming to haunt her. So, she ignored them too, and settled down as best she could, nestled in the waiting arms of Yaz. At least for the night, she could pretend that they were safe, and nothing bad would happen again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, catch me here too:
> 
> Tumblr: the-rainbow-fox-13  
> Twitter: TheRainbowFox13  
> CuriousCat: TheRainbowFox13


End file.
